amitabha

I swear, since seeing Your face,
the whole world is fraud and fantasy
The garden is bewildered as to what is leaf
or blossom. The distracted birds
can't distinguish the birdseed from the snare.

Last night was one of those nights where all I wanted was someone to cuddle up to. I'm not addicted to sex by any means, and I can put it out of my mind, but there's something about the female touch that has me lusting after it like a heroine addict needs another hit. I suppose my cats will suffice in the mean time. After all.. going out and hunting for someone to fill that role would only feel empty to me, because there's nothing better than those feelings of finding someone when you least expect it. You lost the aspect of that magic in the air that you feel with someone when you're purposely on the hunt. Maybe a kiss... a kiss would have been good last night, but I didn't need anything more than that.

It doesn't really matter though, today is a beautiful day, and the weekend is upon us with so many new adventures to come. I'll be going to Club Ohm tonight for a benefit to raise money for it, and then Fire is saturday which I can't wait to check out. I've heard so many great things about this party in the past. And then again on Sunday, i'll be going to Dante's. I want to make a request that one of the girls dance to Marilyn Manson's "Dried Up, Tied and Dead to the World", or something by Tricky,

Anyhow, this has been a good week. Despite the fact that my bike got jacked, and that I didn't get a job I thought was a sure thing. Something else will come around.. sure my job now is pretty cool, but I'm still looking for something else. I had an interview with PSU yesterday for the lead Server Engineer position, which seemed promising, so i'm gonna cross my fingers on that one, and i'm also waiting to hear back from Intel regarding a similar opportunity.

So here's my question for the day: When is loving someone not enough.. and when should you let them go? I suppose i'm thinking of this question because for some reason last night I kept thinking about my ex.. who i still care about.. now that's not care about in the "i wanna get back together" kind of way, it's just hard to be with someone for 3+ years, and not come away caring about a person, ya know? Even though things ended really bad, and she cheated on me. So i'm wondering when is the right time to just let someone go?

Second question for the day: Which is better? Working now, and preparing for the future, or Living your life and throwing caution to the wind with the faith that things will always work out for you?

Thought for the day: Don't wait to appreceiate what you have until after it's gone. Take a minute out of your day, evaluate all the things in your life and people that you hold close to you, and let them know.