ami

i've been fairly elusive lately but the lesson has been learned and i feel now all is or shortly will be well. anything too deep continues to out outwit, outplay, outlast me. frustrating and playful i'm not sure until it's ending what the fuck's been happening at all. sad to say the only comfort i have is in hearing how big and bad i am. i never got it before, the strong intimidating thing, especailly since i'd much rather think and do happy things in the fetal position in a tub of scalding water but you know how that goes. we see what we want to, what we need to. one day i promise i'll be weak enough