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ami

a fading memory

Member Since 2004

Followers 24 Following 19

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Wednesday May 04, 2005

May 4, 2005
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our counselor and i got into it again. my biggest reservation with goign ot him or anyone has been that they wont be openminded enough to the style of living my husband and i have. we're both recovering drug addicts, i have an extensive history, adn so on. and it turns out i was righ to be apprenhensive because this guy is a dick. not just ho-hum what a cock but no he's all about biceps and balls and the little woman staying in tendin gto the young and cooking a mighty meal.

last week when i registered for school two guys approached me and asked to talk "yo, can my man holla at you" i said no it was over. i passed them againa dagain they asked, i said no and they exchanged something like "that bitch needs hangers" (i'm assuming this was because i was wearing a sheer loose fittign shirt adn my small breasts sag). when hubbs got home i told him. it was amusign and i thought we could laugh over it but he got very upset adn started sayign he'd kill them and other big talk nonsence.

the therapist saw this as him being protective adn caring. i think it's obnoxious and immature. as the session went on other things such as my attratction to women to nudity, to erotica that i'm more sexually experienced more self relient better with money etc came up and were all spoken about as a negitivism.

it was ridiculous and barbaric and i couldnt believe it was really beign said. but it was. as you can read i'm having trouble even puttign it to words.
so pissed.

joined some groups. still looking for some likeminded persons
ravenspedigree:
things will get better soon enough.

on good note: I'm still up to do those photos for you. whenever you're settled in and things are better for you then let me know. i'm sure we can figure out a time to do them. Just let me know
Take care

J biggrin
May 4, 2005
ormunroe:
You definitely need to find another counselor. How in the world is that man allowed to counsel others?

I think for many men in the military, they are already inclined to be more agressive personality-wise just becase of the nature of being a soldier and the training. Maybe your husband thought the macho-talk would impress you.

A baby is definitely the last thing we need to bring into this situation. I had a blood test done at the local clinic and it was negative but my cycle still isn't on so I'm hoping that maybe all the stress has just got my system screwed up.

The counselor we spoke to said that as long as the divorce was amicable that there wouldn't be any need for custody trials, etc. and I keep telling my husband that I would never try and keep his child from him...that'd I remain near him so that he could see her whenever he liked. He comes from a divorced home and only saw his father one weekend a month and feels that the same will happen with our baby. But I don't have any bad feelings about him (that his mother had about his father) nor are there any reasons he shouldn't see our baby as often as he likes. But I refuse to sign over my parental rights which I would have to in order for him to gain full custody.

When I was mad I asked him if we could seperate while he was in Iraq and allow me to possibly pursue a woman to see how I felt. Of course he blew up and said mean things. So I asked him what options did I have...what he wanted me to do about my feelings? He said no to a threesome, no to me being with a woman, and no to a seperation. I know it is selfish of me but how I feel isn't going to go away with counseling or time (its been years already), or wishing (no matter how hard). I just wish I could make him understand that.

We'll have to hang out when I get back to Fay. smile
May 4, 2005

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