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ami

a fading memory

Member Since 2004

Followers 24 Following 19

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Tuesday Mar 08, 2005

Mar 8, 2005
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5 years today so i allowed myself to think it. what if i used? it's a question worth asking, i mean should i forever be branded an addict because i used to much to fast at to young?

i'm not using now today or anytime that i can foretell because i think the risk out weights the benfit. i'm not so depressed (for lack of a better word) to want to just sink into nothingness until everythign fades to my liking. if i drank soem wine i'd be bored adn want some weed. heroin is better than weed, i would happen that quickly and i dont believe i'd be able to limit my usage to meditative or spirtually inspired purposes.

even if i always come back to not wanting to do it it's important to think about these things. we change and should be aware just how much.
ormunroe:
it is good to reflect on how we have changed and grown. Some of the things I've done within the last 2 or so years I couldn't have even imagined doing in highschool. Part of me mourns the innocent I used to be but a larger part realizes being naive and innocent remain qualities of the young. I want to be an adult, live like an adult, and learn like an adult. Yet, I'm still frightened.

I'll be in fay. march 20-27th but spending most of that time with family and the other part down in myrtle beach. I'm determined that we will get together in Sept., though. smile
Mar 8, 2005

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