amethyst

I never realized how much I loved shoes until I worked at a shoe store. They have got to be the most magnifacent creatures I have ever seen. In fact I am currently haveing an affair with a pair of pink and black "Perry's". I walked into the store one day to start a shift, when there she was....across the room, sitting on a shelf looking rather coy. I stopped right there in my tracks, then moveing ever so slowly across the floor, I came in for a closer look, our eyes met....and I was hers from then on. I don't believe in love at firts site, but my gawd.

I had to explain to my mother the other day how to metaphorically make love to a shoe, I don't think she understands (being a dyke and all) how one can fall in love with shoes, but I just don't think shes found the right ones yet. So anyway, I sat her down and took a beautifully crafter white heel and began my explanation.

First you must place the shoe in front of you. You have to move slowly as not to scare her (shoes are very timid creatures) Then you must whisper sweet nothings towards it. all the while moving closer and closer. Finally, you pick up the shoe, quikly, but gentley. Caress the shoe, feel the shoe-and for gawd sake do not drop the shoe! After becoming familiar with everypart of the shoe, and gaining a sense of both trust and undertsanding, you may then-and only then place the shoes on your feet. Let them sit there for a few second to become comfortable with their suroundings and situation. When they make it clear they are ready. You stand up, take a few strides across the room. You must remember, you are not walking but gliding in almost a strut, but a gental one. "This" is how you make love to a shoe. Tune on next week to find out how one should propose to a shoe, aswell as how to avoid jeliousy between the left and right shoe