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ameth

Fort Benning, GA

Member Since 2006

Followers 7 Following 41

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Friday Nov 10, 2006

Nov 10, 2006
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Today feels like change. I don't know what it is but something is... different. Maybe it's just a case of anxiety? I posted a profile pic finally. I had to shrink it down since the original was too big, in dimension and file size.

I went and saw Stranger Than FIction today. It was funny. I liked it I guess.

I think I am happiest when I am depressed. My brother thinks those who post messages with the "I'm sad, no one likes me/understands me" them are trying to get attention. I would be inclined to agree. I suppose I just have a different feeling towards emotion. I play with them a bit. Most of the time I suppress them. I don't really need them after all. But once in awhile I'll give them a go. Kind of like chewing gum.
And while those people may be experiencing genuine sadness in search of someone to help fill their emotional void I don't look down upon them at all. I sincerely hope they find whatever or whomever they are searching for. It probably is true that they haven't found anyone to truly connect with.
I sure haven't found anyone save one, but I'm related to this person. Now when I say connect I don't mean in a romantic sense let me just clear that up right now. I mean connecting in an intellectual/creative/supportive/etc. way. These properties are far more significant to me than the traditional romantic connection.

At this point I am thinking I've earned judgement now by this statement, and not a favorable one. But let me explain a bit. Love, is great. Find love, have love, make love, keep love, whatever you like. I only speak for myself as I am not entitled to speak on anyone else's behalf on this matter, nor do I want to influence anyone's opinion to match mine. Saying that, I have survived just fine without out it. There was a time when I was looking for love. Never found it, sure I probably missed out on something great. But I'm not going to let that determine the person I am. Love along with all other emotions are accessories [to me]. I find it very liberating in this position. It is still possible that I could find someone to share love with, though it is unlikely. After all no one understands me.

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