amerikanxdream

Have you ever thought that the night could be hungry? Like it wants to eat you up? That's the feeling I get sometimes. I don't want to move because if I do that, I won't want to stop, and I'll get all wrapped up in some crazy shit that I won't be able to deal with. But the night it seems, is always there, waiting around, looming over me. It's the feeling I get when I'm in this room at night. I want for something but i don't know what, and I feel so isolated, but at the same time I think I could run right through the wall if I really wanted to. No matter what I do I think I'm wasting time when I should be getting on to the real thing but I don't know what the hell that is. I tell myself that it's coming....but it never does and I knew that it wouldn't in the first place. But to think that something's coming makes me feel like living a little more. Sometimes I don't feel like that at all, living I mean. Sometimes I crave something so big that it will be enough to really knock me out, or do something. I sit here and i can hear all this noise and shit outside and I wonder if any of it's for me, if any of those noises are supposed to be telling me something. I listen intently. I don't want to miss the right one. What a drag, but I don't know what's dragging. The night is the only constant, but that doesn't help much right now.