americann1nja

Reflecting back over the last couple of months has lit a fire in me unlike ever before. Recent things in my life have left me with a feeling of disappointment, unappreciated, and honestly down right pissed off. This has left me a little bitter.

I decided I needed to sit back and reevaluate some things in my life. While doing so I realized I had become complacent. I had stopped setting goals and doing whatever it takes to accomplish those goals. I had let my health and fitness level to drop horribly. Since my back surgery three years ago I have gained an ungodly amount of weight, going from 240 pounds to 285 pounds. Going from a 36 in pants to a 42!

I found myself passing the blame and making up excuses when things didn't go my way. I blamed a bad back to get out of working out. I blamed not working out for why I got fat(ter). I caught myself making up excuses to to train. I blamed others when opportunities became available and was passed over.

The truth of the matter is that it was ALL MY FAULT. Somewhere along the way, I lost my way. I lost my drive and passion. I became passive instead of standing up for myself. I told people what I thought they wanted to hear instead of the blatant truth.

So having rambled on about all of this, I security was time for a change. I started working out, changing my diet, and not making excuses to miss training. In doing so I have lost more than 30+ pounds and counting.

I was just advised of an opportunity awaiting me in the not too distant future. If I had not been passed up for a previous opportunity, it would have made it very difficult to accomplish the opportunity that awaits. So one door closed, but another opened.

I've decided that I will no longer remain completely passive. Not to be confused with becoming confrontational, but I will not be selling myself short anymore.

I feel grounded and refocused. Looking forward to hard work and the things to come. I will start living each day as a gift from God to be the best I can be.