amelinda

I had a pretty good holiday, sorta. I spent it wih my family. I loved watching my nephew open presents. He is just soooooo cute. I got allot gifts. Mostly stuff for the baby, but a few other things too.

My love life hasnt been so great. My man is still "living" in NH where he is based for work, and i havent seen him since the 10th of dec. He doesnt come back here untill the 9th of jan. The last few days have been soo shitty between us. We have just been fighting. I feel sorta bad about it, cuz im the one that starts all the fights. I just dont feel like he loves me any more. Actualy i felt like he stopped loving me about a year ago. It seems to me like i spend my whole day waiting to just talk to him on the phone, and when i finaly get a chance, he is like "i need to eat, ill call you later," or "im goin to bed, ill call u in the morning." Even on days that he has nothing goin on, or clames to have nothing goin on, he still cant make time to talk to me. On Xmas, we talked for a total of 18 min.
That made me feel like shit. It was the day i wanted to be with him the most, and he had no time for me. And since he wont be here for newyears, i get to start it off alone. But i also know that since i dont have a job right now, and a baby on the way, he has been working extra to make up for what im costing him. So then i feel guilty for getting sad or angry at him. I just want to feel loved though, and i dont think thats to much to ask for.