ambition

Well recovery from my uvulopharyngopalatoplasty, tonsillectomy and septoplasty was HELL! Oh my fucking fuck! I was on a diet of liquid opiates for two weeks. All I can remember is pain and lots of it. Pain worse than unmedicated childbirth. But all went well in the end and I am sleeping much better I think.

My husbands PTSD is really rearing its ugly fucking face. We are both in counseling to work with it. The poor man has nightmares just about every night. He tosses and turns to the point that the sheets are all popped off of the bed. I wish that I could take whatever he sees when he closes his eyes out of his head. I hate this so much. The fucking war in Iraq is ruining my marriage and all I can do is hope for the best. He has been home for a little over a year now and it just seems to get worse with time. I love him so much and I love our family, I want to hang on to us but I feel like I am fighting a losing battle.

I am not looking forward to the rest of the holiday season. I hate going to all of the damn obligatory family functions. We are always the topic of conversation, especially me. I am bombarded with questions about my dreadlocks, my piercings and my tattoos. I feel like a public service announcement for the decorated folks in the world. Maybe I will just jump up on the table and and tell them all to fuck off. We are a normal family with normal problems. Just because our "book cover" is a little more decorated doesn't mean that our story lacks the trials and tribulations or theirs.

Well I think I am gonna stop before this is just a never ending bitch session.
Take care all