ambie

wow next Tuesdays appt is highly needed right now.... I feel so crushed. physically.... like there is this giant monster wrapping itself around my chest and squeezing.
I can't stand this feeling with T.... I love him so much it makes me sick, how can he brush me off so quickly? we have plans, and he breaks them, he is supposed to call and he doesnt. i want to slit my wrists. well not so much but its like there is nothing i can do that is right... just when i think things with hm are getting better they starting smelling like ppoooopp again! what the mother fuck>
i am in love with natalie imbruglia, her voice and her body. damn.
i need someone... who understands.
"did you ever feel sunlight on your face? did you ever just breath" NI
I need dancing and laughter and girls and makeup and skirts and music.
I need a guy with style, who likes to work on cars bt can just relax in a slick button up shirt like an express mens model but can race and is smart and reads the paper and is interested in politics and music and technology and wants to go to museums with me... who truely wants to go to paris and italy and wants to learn to salsa and tango and who wants to go to fancy bars after a long day at the track? where is he? if not scattered amongst millions of men.
"i dont care i have no luck i dont miss it all that much theres just so many things that i cant touch im torn im all outta faith this is hw i feel im cold and ashamed lying naked on the floor..... i can see the perfect sky is torn... your a little late i m already torn." NI again...