amberlie

After four years i am single again.

This is so deviating.
I honestly thought that i would be building a life with this person, marriage and kids were involved.These are not light conversations,we had so much planned.I think that may be why i feel the way i do.

Okay a little summary of the last year and a half of my life.

Moved in with boyfriend of three years, didnt have any kids, but we had two dogs.So we claimed they were our kids until things changed.
Started to feel unhappy.
Friend was in trouble, moved to Colorado to help with emotional as well as finacial problems.
Was there for three months, and missed my boyfriend like crazy.
Moved back in with boyfriend.
The day that i came back i walked into a filthy house, i mean every dish was sitting DIRTY in the sink, the carpet hadnt been vacumed.
I understand that his friend moved in ( its a three bedroom trailer in the country!) but htat was so uncalled for.
Dealt with the lazy procrastinating bullshit for about two weeks, we had a talk....
And this is the part i dont understand.
We would have the same talk every other month, to the point it would frustrate me so bad i wanted to kill him, (which isnt good for any relationship by the way!)
And then i finally got tired of being unhappy so i left.

It hurts but it feels right. I would tell him that we may work out in the future, but im a steady beleiver in " if it doesnt work out the first time it wont work out any other time after."
Unless its a special occasion.

So at the moment im confused,a little lost, hurt, and happy all at the same time.
And of course frustrated!
I believe i have lost my mojo.
Its so hard for me to flirt now, i was never this hard. I really dont remember being this shy,but hopefully ill get over that soon?!

I would love some mojo rejuvenation tactics?!