hey everyone, so i have taken a vow of celibacy, probably one of the hardest decisions i think ive had to make, it came from a very private incident (that will not be named or discussed) but i just feel like its the right thing to do right now. i need some time to find myself, and i need to get through school first.
i am going to school to become a massage therapist, will be starting in the fall. i am SOOOO excited!!!!!
so i thought i would use this as a good place to track my feelings about this, etc, etc.
this really is against my character, i will be honest, i am a VERY sexual person, thats just who i am, now that doesnt mean that i just go around sleeping with whomever i can get my hands on, but it just means that i talk about it alot. and of course people get the wrong impression from it, well mostly men. now if men could clue in and figure out that yeah im talking about sex but im not talking about things ive done, just sex in general. and yeah its fun but im not gonna just sleep with anyone, i have standards.
so this whole thing is just really hard for me, as you can see from the way i described myself, its not an easy thing to do. ive now been celibate for about a month, i think the longer i do it, the easier it will be.
but my dreams arent helping, ive been having really sexual dreams lately, which i wont go into detail about, but its making this whole thing even harder, but i know i made the right decision in the end because this is the way for me to clear my head, and take my power back in a way. and not having to deal with the stupidity of relationships in ANY sense of the word, whether it be physical or emotional, is just a really big burden off my shoulders.
the ONLY exception i have to this thing is, well let me explain, as i have already stated i am bisexual, but the problem is i have never been with a woman, so that is the only exception to it, and so if the opportunity comes up then i have to take it, its the ONLY exception i am giving myself.
i am really scared about the experience (being with a woman) i have never experienced that before. anyone have any tips??????????
please help
amber
i am going to school to become a massage therapist, will be starting in the fall. i am SOOOO excited!!!!!
so i thought i would use this as a good place to track my feelings about this, etc, etc.
this really is against my character, i will be honest, i am a VERY sexual person, thats just who i am, now that doesnt mean that i just go around sleeping with whomever i can get my hands on, but it just means that i talk about it alot. and of course people get the wrong impression from it, well mostly men. now if men could clue in and figure out that yeah im talking about sex but im not talking about things ive done, just sex in general. and yeah its fun but im not gonna just sleep with anyone, i have standards.
so this whole thing is just really hard for me, as you can see from the way i described myself, its not an easy thing to do. ive now been celibate for about a month, i think the longer i do it, the easier it will be.
but my dreams arent helping, ive been having really sexual dreams lately, which i wont go into detail about, but its making this whole thing even harder, but i know i made the right decision in the end because this is the way for me to clear my head, and take my power back in a way. and not having to deal with the stupidity of relationships in ANY sense of the word, whether it be physical or emotional, is just a really big burden off my shoulders.
the ONLY exception i have to this thing is, well let me explain, as i have already stated i am bisexual, but the problem is i have never been with a woman, so that is the only exception to it, and so if the opportunity comes up then i have to take it, its the ONLY exception i am giving myself.
i am really scared about the experience (being with a woman) i have never experienced that before. anyone have any tips??????????
please help
amber
nata:
uhh maybe u should update once in awhile 
LOL
LOL