So I've been chewing this over in my mind for a few days and decided I'd like to make a blog about it.
I was minding my own business, perusing the many beautiful sets in MR the other evening when a notification popped up on my page saying that a member had commented on my set! With great excitement to see who this person was and what they thought of my recent set, Cosmic Butterfly, I clicked the notification and came across a comment saying "Disgusting."
Now, let me take your hand and lead you through the list of emotions that ensued...
First off, there was a shock. I had never thought that the day would come when a member would be outright cruel to a model. I've seen some sketchy comments, borderline gross, and those are almost expected amongst the niceties and support, but a cruel comment meant to hurt someone was not once expected.
Next came the hurt. Seeing that someone, who isn't even a local SG troll commenting on everyone's pages, had made an anonymous account, bought a membership, specifically searched for me to be rude on my set, and leave a nasty comment was beyond comprehension. This was the equivalent of breaking into my house, my safe space, and throwing a bucket of iced water over me. As it stands it takes many of us models A LOT to get the confidence to release a set. My confidence was immediately shattered into a hundred pieces and my mind went straight to believing that I was never good enough and clearly in way over my head.
I cried that night thinking about it over and over, as these are the comments one can expect to find on Facebook or Instagram, or other platforms where models are expected to fit into a specific box. The whole point of SG (Correct me if I'm wrong here) is that women can come and show their beautiful selves as they are, in photos that, if posted on other platforms, would be considered social suicide.
Lastly, the anger took over. I'm mad, not for myself, but for all the other women who have experienced "disgusting" comments on their sets and feeds. I've brought myself out of the dark place that I ended up in, but what about the women who, for them, that comment would've been the last straw? The woman whose confidence has taken a hit before and a comment like this is the cherry on the cake that ends her dream of being an alternative model entirely.
I can fully understand that I am not everyone's cup of tea, and I absolutely don't expect a comment or love on my set if you don't feel that it is up to your taste, but I am still a human being with human emotions. I am an alternative plus-size model and though we may not be represented as much as others, we do still exist. Whether or not I go pink, I will still be here, showing off every unapologetic curve that I've got, and I will not buckle. 😁✌ Peace to you, Sir/ Ma'am/ Thing.
