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amberice

Phoenix, AZ

Hopeful Since 2011

Followers 1538 Following 1116

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Lost my inspiration...

Jan 16, 2014
19
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Before I get into a very long, self loathing explanation I just kind of gave up becoming an SG. Which explains my absence- for the most part.

Life happened, I got married and now I'm pregnant ( SURPRISE!) I will post a few pictures. Though we don't have any professional ones yet. Officially 17 weeks today! I was rather surprised because I was under the impression from several doctors that it would be very hard for me to ever carry a child. As I have found with most medical issues I have, doctors are very often, very wrong.

Beyond that I am kind of enjoying the area I now reside other than the fucking rain. I'm an Arizona girl in my heart. I miss my sunshine desperately out here. I also miss working in a salon quite badly though I do have my side work. Which keeps me quite sane. :)

The reason(s) I was so discouraged... First, my confidence took a huge fall between moving from Phoenix to Washington. I was an everyday runner and I hiked frequently with my sister and friends. I worked out a lot is what I'm saying. I had lots to do when I got here and without having many comfortable friends to do these activities with I lost almost all of my motivation. It can be lonely being a military wife and it has been a roller coaster for me trying to balance a very different lifestyle.

Beyond my body image and motivation my husband is not completely on board with SG. It has been a long road of talking and making my point very clear that I am passionate about this... That being said, I would never go behind his back or blatantly be a bitch about shooting or jumping right into it. I understand he needs time to be comfortable with the idea of me being nude on the internet for all to see. So I have been gradually letting him come to terms and have been easing up completely so that this isn't a problem in our marriage.

NOW, I am pregnant, which I am thrilled about. I was very sick for the first 14 weeks, I was hospitalized and pretty much attached to my bathroom. I have never seen a pregnancy set on SG and don't really know how I feel about the idea. Though I have entertained it a few times. I realize it's controversial and I feel the same way so it never goes beyond entertaining it. I do have a new-found motivation growing this baby, to be healthy. So I have begun yoga and a few other activities to help with my body before and after baby comes. I intend to shoot a set once my body has bounced back.

Now in light of all of this, I just plan to be active on the site. Hopefully make some new friends in this state so I can feel more at home and eventually work my way back on camera with a professional photographer. It's just going to take time... A lot of time to get to the front page. Slow and steady works for me though.

:)

P.S. We have acquired a new retriever named Nina, she is Sam's sister from another litter and the cutest. They're inseparable. Also still figuring out the new site... photos are on top and not organized. Forgive me? There's one of my awesome Halloween makeup too. Enjoy!

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
amberice:
Hey thanks! It's nice to know someone has done it! Now that I've really popped it would be super interesting to shoot... my body feels so strange. Haha, he has know about SG since before we dated (we're childhood friends) but I guess the whole, I'm his wife thing, is now how he feels about it? I don't agree but I love him all the same.  I appreciate the support! I have a set that was shot sometime last year, I hope to have it up soon to bridge my large gap between sets! Stick around!
Apr 10, 2014
delaney:
if you have not joined the sg seattle group then you def should <3 https://www.suicidegirls.com/groups/sgseattle/
May 20, 2014

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