still no gray???? any day now.
so a update quickly... could go gray b4 i post.
the baby is doing awesome! he is huge, 12.04 on the 5th. i am sure he is like 12.10 now haha...i love him to death, poor kid is in all my photo's with props. bk hat, long john silvers pirate hat, 80's sunglasses haha.. he will appreciate them when he gets older( i hope).
the roomate(s) suck these days. It is driving me mad, we do not talk even in passing. Then it is brough to my attention that talk is being said about me but not to me. that shit pisses me off, I cried for hours today stressed because of the living situation which has grown to be HELL!!! I thought it would work, i know i should have not let anyone persuade me to move here, thinking it would help with cash for the baby, i can say that is the ONLY reason i did, I gave up my dog (and justify my decission , that it is best for her(the dog),because she needs some1 that can give her all the attention she deserves.it still brings tears to my eyes) to move here and build something, at first the talk was him moving to a house(buying) then i guess that conversation never happened only in my head... I must be nuts!.To think he is the one that told me to move in here, Obviouslly he did t not think this through, I clean dust that has built up in the past 5 years and scrub bulshit all day take out large amounts of trash, hes on stike he says... OH AND IM ON A WEIGHT LIMIT RESTRCITION BECAUSE I JUST HAD THE BABY AND HAD A CESECTION...UGH...OUCH! and then hear shit that i do wrong. I write emails to him( for some reason having conversation with me must scare him)...To think i used to be friends with him... was it friendship or was it just BONING... oh i forgot to mention the roomate is some1 i used to ya know BONE... ass...ugh .....i feel there is 2 teams here and it is myself against them... ( the girlfriend that is here 24/7)
The sad part is i really like her but i cant join forces with them....I will be back to work in 2 weeks and i can get my shit caught up and move the fuck out of here and erase this part of my life. the boyfriend is supposed to be moving with us. I fear that he is doing this because he feels obligated kills me.... That is the only thought that passes through my head. I do not want a decission made from him out of pitty. He is such a truely remarkable guy, he weighs heavy on my heart and lightens my days. I just fear shit will go bitter because of my stress being of burden to him/////.......gawd i wish i had mad cash right now and id be gone b4 u could blink a eye..
OK im done for a bit.....no more tears fuck people!
**glaces over to my son**
thank gawd i have such a wonderful person in my life that enhances every moment and brightens my days( even in this shitty new york weather)
[
so a update quickly... could go gray b4 i post.
the baby is doing awesome! he is huge, 12.04 on the 5th. i am sure he is like 12.10 now haha...i love him to death, poor kid is in all my photo's with props. bk hat, long john silvers pirate hat, 80's sunglasses haha.. he will appreciate them when he gets older( i hope).
the roomate(s) suck these days. It is driving me mad, we do not talk even in passing. Then it is brough to my attention that talk is being said about me but not to me. that shit pisses me off, I cried for hours today stressed because of the living situation which has grown to be HELL!!! I thought it would work, i know i should have not let anyone persuade me to move here, thinking it would help with cash for the baby, i can say that is the ONLY reason i did, I gave up my dog (and justify my decission , that it is best for her(the dog),because she needs some1 that can give her all the attention she deserves.it still brings tears to my eyes) to move here and build something, at first the talk was him moving to a house(buying) then i guess that conversation never happened only in my head... I must be nuts!.To think he is the one that told me to move in here, Obviouslly he did t not think this through, I clean dust that has built up in the past 5 years and scrub bulshit all day take out large amounts of trash, hes on stike he says... OH AND IM ON A WEIGHT LIMIT RESTRCITION BECAUSE I JUST HAD THE BABY AND HAD A CESECTION...UGH...OUCH! and then hear shit that i do wrong. I write emails to him( for some reason having conversation with me must scare him)...To think i used to be friends with him... was it friendship or was it just BONING... oh i forgot to mention the roomate is some1 i used to ya know BONE... ass...ugh .....i feel there is 2 teams here and it is myself against them... ( the girlfriend that is here 24/7)
The sad part is i really like her but i cant join forces with them....I will be back to work in 2 weeks and i can get my shit caught up and move the fuck out of here and erase this part of my life. the boyfriend is supposed to be moving with us. I fear that he is doing this because he feels obligated kills me.... That is the only thought that passes through my head. I do not want a decission made from him out of pitty. He is such a truely remarkable guy, he weighs heavy on my heart and lightens my days. I just fear shit will go bitter because of my stress being of burden to him/////.......gawd i wish i had mad cash right now and id be gone b4 u could blink a eye..
OK im done for a bit.....no more tears fuck people!
**glaces over to my son**
thank gawd i have such a wonderful person in my life that enhances every moment and brightens my days( even in this shitty new york weather)
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