Things are slowly making sense in my life.
I had been sitting here today thinking.
I remember always making comments about the fact that I wanted to have a child and I remember talking to a friend of mine a year or two ago about this. We kinda had this arrangement that he would help me out... haha...
then look at me now, I am pregnant and the father is only a friend, this was not the plan.
creepy,
The past few days I have been testng my emotions, I have been spendig time with ryan and trying to see what was there.
In my head I want the family,
But when i lay there I do not feel the surge of energy you are supposed to feel when you touch that certain some1.
I care about him and I know I love him, but I know he is my friend.
The thing that scares me the most is while I lay there with him I find my thoughts on some1 else.
I kinda feel like I am betraying him.
Nothing is going on its kinda nice.
strickly platonic. the sleep overs are just to have some1 there. He enjoys having some1 there are well as I.
I am unsure if this is healthy or not but it feels good right now.
I am setting myself up I am sure.
oh well, we shall see
I had been sitting here today thinking.
I remember always making comments about the fact that I wanted to have a child and I remember talking to a friend of mine a year or two ago about this. We kinda had this arrangement that he would help me out... haha...
then look at me now, I am pregnant and the father is only a friend, this was not the plan.
creepy,
The past few days I have been testng my emotions, I have been spendig time with ryan and trying to see what was there.
In my head I want the family,
But when i lay there I do not feel the surge of energy you are supposed to feel when you touch that certain some1.
I care about him and I know I love him, but I know he is my friend.
The thing that scares me the most is while I lay there with him I find my thoughts on some1 else.
I kinda feel like I am betraying him.
Nothing is going on its kinda nice.
strickly platonic. the sleep overs are just to have some1 there. He enjoys having some1 there are well as I.
I am unsure if this is healthy or not but it feels good right now.
I am setting myself up I am sure.
oh well, we shall see
make yourself happy, never, ever rely on someone else to do it for you. and watch out... i know you like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes you leave yourself open to be walked on. i hate to see that happen to you, youre such a wonderful person, but not everyone is as openly caring as you are and it totally tears me to see you hurt.
shame i dont cross dress anymore
much
do you have a website or a place i could view some of it, id maybe buy something for my girl