ambergarnet

mentally updating,
it has been almos 5 months since i have had a diet pill of any sort. a laxative or been on a diet.
I am the biggest i have ever been and i feel beautiful,
the fluttering i feel within is amazing, knowing i am carrying a child has somehow made me think differently.
i can not say i cured of this curse i have had for 12 years. but simply knowing that now when i look in the mirror there are tears of happiness not tears of dissapointment.
i hope that this will be my cure. i hope that i will be the role model for my child and not have to continue to suffer from this hell. i know it seems like it is a joke, but it is something i have always been weak with, i always thought i had control, but then when i think back to the days that i would have to stay home beccause of the over usage of laxatives or diet pills. i realize i had lost control to something that would have someday killed me.
i dont want to feel this way anymore, i want to be normal and stop thinking of image. i wan tto live my life and be happy, i am sick of hiding in my cave feeling i am not worthy of happiness....
i hope this is truley over....