ambergarnet

I guess i will finally admitt to myself how fucked up i am.
It seems that i have denied the fact that ive been suffering from what they like to call bulemia for about 12 years now. I have tried to convince myself that i am overreacting but fact being that i am now four months pregnant and i have not been able to take any pills. This is a huge wake up call to me. i have been mentally drained because i am having issues dealing with everything. its fucked! I always say i want to be a awesome mother( a good role model) and right now i feel so helpless, kinda like im letting my unborn child down. i am trying my best to deal with the weight gain, on the outside i laugh and am ok with it, on the inside i cry. 12 years of an laxative and duretic pill addiction and BAM, nothing.....I have always been strong and had incredible will power with everthin except this one. UGH!! well i guess things can only get better!!!!

wish me luck!