amaranthe

Great. By telling my best friends boyfriend/ boyfriend's best friend (yes, complicated) to stop grabbing my ass (and messaging my best friend to get her to tell him not to (because he doesnt listen to me or adam) apparently I have fucked things up and caused a week worth of fights. I didnt intend for that to happen, but I'm really sick of hime grabbing my ass and thinking that I dont mind despite the number of times I have hit him for it - he thinks that I'm easy because I actually like having sex with my boyfriend and because I want to model for this site (when I'm brave enough and have lost weight) and that therefore touching me is ok. Most of the time, I just go whatever and hit him, but it's at the point where I'm really fucking sick of it, I dont have to put up with that shit. It's not just touching, and I'm really getting uncomfortable, and I don't want to be the bad guy but hey. He's had this girl (my best friend) for over a year, and yeah, she doesnt enjoy sex and never puts out (we've openly called her favourite position the 'masonary' because she lays there like a brick) but he is still with her, even though he only gets sex like once a month if he is lucky, so that's his problem. He shouldnt take that out on me just because he know's that I will laugh and not get seriously psycho on his ass. Basically, I'm sick of it, I wish my boyfriend (disturbingly his best friend, yes I know, two best friends dating two best friends is weird - weirder when the three of them live together, with my best friend's identical twin lesbial sister) would actually seriously stand up for me and stop it. We've only been together three months but still. He should have some measure of possessiveness at least, or something. Because I enjoy sex they think I'm a complete fucking whore, even though the only guy i sleep with is my boyfriend. So if Adam can't/ won't stick up for me, then I'm screwed, and I don't know what I will do, and it will all be fucked up, because unfortunately I really like this guy although I guess ultimately our loyalties are destined to oppose. So, after saying, yeah let's go to bed almost an hour ago, I am on his computer and he hasn't made it down here. Lucas is cracking the shits and going nuts at me, and I'm tempted to go home and read erotic stories on the internet. I'm giving Adam time for me to have another cigarette, and then about 13 minutes, and then I'm off. After all, I have to work tomorrow. Really early. 5.15pm. And tonight we had a lazy night planned, horror/gore movies and sex. So much for that. Goodnight. Love all, even though no one reads this and I'm having my shoot-me-dead-i'm-borderline-emo-in-this-thought moment. Everyone has to have it. Night.

And I really do wish my grass was emo so it could cut itself. Save me the job.