alyssum

Chapter 63 in the Story of My Creepy MySpace Messages. But first, a little recap:
Once upon a time, there was a girl who had a MySpace profile. At some point, because she was so pleased with her new-found braveness, she had a picture of herself getting a plaster cast of her chest. This suddenly got many creepy replies from random strangers, so down the pictures came.
And still, the creepy replies came, but at a greatly reduced rate. So down came any even remotely sexy picture, or...well, really any particularly flattering picture. Still, they came, but slower still.
Then one day, the girl got 3 creepy emails in the space of 5 minutes So then she started experimenting with her Top 8, to see if this would dissuade them. First, she put 7 hot girls and an emu (because it was funny). In retrospect, this was a stupid tactic, it only increased the emails. Then, she put 8 hot pictures of boys, which stopped the emails completely for a couple weeks.

Now...

Apparently I'm attracting the attention of teenagers. One of them in Egypt who wants me to fly out and stay with him. (Or so he can kidnap me and steal my organs to sell on the black market, most likely) Another, who says "your sexy my wife thinks so to". Awh... It just makes me wanna correct his spelling! And ask him what the hell he's doing married at 19?!?@#*&

I imagine I could make this all go away by changing my dating status, but I'm being a stickler for accuracy on that one. Until I actually, officially have a boyfriend, I'm revelling in the word "divorced"...or more accurately, trying to make myself inured to it.