The Boy I Hurt:
Gun maker. WWII historian. Irish fanatic. Jujitsu fighter. Sweetest kid I have probably ever met by accident.
He pretends to be happy but he's upset about everything. He actually hates life. He's a cutter. He feels like he is the only person in the world that he can trust. His five year plan is to finish school, join the military, and die in combat. He does not want to live past 25 because he claims he is numb, had nothing to live for, and only finds love and joy in making other's happy. A servant to whomever he adores, whoever will give him the time of day. That person was me. And i felt terrible watching him destroy his wonderful self.
I was not aware of his deep seeded emotions before i began to have a semi-intimate relationship with him. We were friends but this lead to the constant question, "are you sleeping with that guy?" "No...why the hell would you say that?" "Because, i'm just wondering. Cos we're not together but we are, and i can't have you sleeping with other people if we're 'together'." I was alittle confused by the accusation and his terminogolies. He was kind enough to stay over and write papers together all night so i could have everything done for class. Well, it ended up that he and I had a rather serious conversation that lasted hours about who we are, what i am to him, and how i feel about the two of us. Mind you, I've been "seeing him" for about a week, not even. He apparently fell for me when we spoke earlier about how it's too early for a relationship with anyone, that I wanted a friends with benifits kind a thing (which he gladly agreed to, with other intensions in mind obviously). It was great until the 20 questions on "what this is" came up. Now i skipped two classes, haven't slept, and tried to convince an amazingly depressed person to stop blaming himself for everything. Oh my, it was a mess that I didn't want to clean up but I'm still trying to pick up what's left. Oh my. Hook-ups with people you consider friends is a BAD IDEA!
Gun maker. WWII historian. Irish fanatic. Jujitsu fighter. Sweetest kid I have probably ever met by accident.
He pretends to be happy but he's upset about everything. He actually hates life. He's a cutter. He feels like he is the only person in the world that he can trust. His five year plan is to finish school, join the military, and die in combat. He does not want to live past 25 because he claims he is numb, had nothing to live for, and only finds love and joy in making other's happy. A servant to whomever he adores, whoever will give him the time of day. That person was me. And i felt terrible watching him destroy his wonderful self.
I was not aware of his deep seeded emotions before i began to have a semi-intimate relationship with him. We were friends but this lead to the constant question, "are you sleeping with that guy?" "No...why the hell would you say that?" "Because, i'm just wondering. Cos we're not together but we are, and i can't have you sleeping with other people if we're 'together'." I was alittle confused by the accusation and his terminogolies. He was kind enough to stay over and write papers together all night so i could have everything done for class. Well, it ended up that he and I had a rather serious conversation that lasted hours about who we are, what i am to him, and how i feel about the two of us. Mind you, I've been "seeing him" for about a week, not even. He apparently fell for me when we spoke earlier about how it's too early for a relationship with anyone, that I wanted a friends with benifits kind a thing (which he gladly agreed to, with other intensions in mind obviously). It was great until the 20 questions on "what this is" came up. Now i skipped two classes, haven't slept, and tried to convince an amazingly depressed person to stop blaming himself for everything. Oh my, it was a mess that I didn't want to clean up but I'm still trying to pick up what's left. Oh my. Hook-ups with people you consider friends is a BAD IDEA!
caffeinemonkey:
If your friend is seriously depressed (and it sounds like he is) I think you should talk to him about seeing a doctor for Zolft or Paxil meds... It does not mean he his mental. Just like a chemical imbalance can give someone a stomach ulcer, a chemical imbalance can make a person depressed. He should not feel sham going on meds for this. (just like he wouldn't if he need med for a stomach ulser). The reality is that you coulde miss an entire year of classes trying to work him through it but it prob won't help. Encourage him to see a doctor get on meds. I am certain in a month he will have a new outlook on his life and be much happer. If you plan on staying with him this will make you happer too. I know you prob feel you want and can fix it... but I think without the meds you will become frustrated and teh relationship is doomed to be finite.