alyeska

Having one of those.... not sure how to describe it, but... one of those days where SG just isn't making me happy like it usually does. Maybe coupled with my father telling me that I need to diet harder than he does and that (once again) he's suprised my husband even bothered with me this long. Nothing hurts more than him telling me that it's a SHOCK that someone I love like that is "tough" for dealing with my weight.

The odd thing was, earlier today I started writing out my old diet plan. Even wrote down "trick foods" lol. And he kinda soured the idea for me. But so did opening the fridge and cupboards to see fishsticks, bread, potatoes, etc etc still left over. So I'm going to power through those foods first before I start. I also don't want to empty the bank account just trying to look good for something that won't happen.

It's shitty enough that my dad forgot his wallet at the store today. Also, he keeps talking to me while I'm playing AC2 and then getting upset that I'm not talking back.....

I want to talk to someone soooo bad right now. But they're not home. Not gonna lie, it's depressing me more than it should. Not really depressing... just longing. Actually, the last week or so, I've been so content. Feeling a little stronger, a little happier, I'm smiling more. But then I'll turn around and cry my eyes out. But it's a good cry in a way.

My emotions are as high as ever but totally different from just a few weeks ago.

I'll stop here.
Just needed to get that out.

-Aly