alyeska

I totally agree with Steffee, she has hit it right on the nail. I have been trying to tell you exactly that, but I am not good with words ever. lol I know, its tough to trust people. For the fear of getting hurt, but no one is perfect and everyone one gets hurt. In a sense it makes you stronger. I know, It is hard after getting hurt so many times not to have a stone exterior though. I think giving everyone a fair chance to gain your trust to be let inside, is the best, because keeping that stone exterior makes it hard to be close and eventually pushes the person away. I think you really summed up your understanding of that here:"One of those points will be thought about, mulled over, spoken out loud, and used to remind myself that just because I was a victim in my past doesn't mean I need to treat the only light in my world like a villain."
So congrats!

You ARE too beautiful and too awesome to deal with paranoia and stress about what could happen. live in the "now" and like you said focus on what actual good, is present. Then if that day ever comes where you get hurt again,and can't bare the pain by yourself. That is what friends and family are for.They are there for support when needed the most. They help you get back up off your ass, help dust yourself off. They are there when "you shed some tears" and coach you to try again. Knowing that alone helps.

I know he loves you! If he didn't care, like you said he wouldn't try so hard to fix things when he does mess up. Even though sometimes he does things that scare you. I think sometimes he forgets how his actions could be taking the wrong way and just needs time, your patience and communication to see it.

I think you have seen that and I am so happy for you!
----
Diet talk: Lol you can do it! I will be your loyal diet-buddy! Although Its gonna be so hard at first to not want junk food with you. I LOVE BDUBS (that is our thing ) and your delicious cooking!..but if this is what you want I will do it for you. Even though you are just gorgeous either way, I know how much this means to you! SO I WILL DO IT! DAMN IT!
---
Kitties!:
I am also really sad that the kitties might be leaving! Last night, I was just loving up on them so much. They are going to be really missed! I don't think you are ready for them to leave either. For once in your life let your mom's stubbornness work for us! Let her say NO, TO KITTIES IN HER CAR! I really don't want you to feel lonely. Since, I am not there every other day. It makes me sad to think about it.
---
Tatts:
Honestly, I think that the hockey sticks are just something you should just go in and say help me fix this! lol
and we will keep thinking about what to put in the star.
---
I am excited and cant wait for the things coming up in the future! I love new and exciting events/adventures! <3 XOXO

Yes, that is your old camera...=(

Miss you.