alukh

So I spent most of my shift last night working on the knitting rap. At one point I tossed one of the couplets at a jeremy. He's now absolutely certain that I have a secret life as a junkie. I pointed out that in my case drugs would probably be superfluous. Oh. Right. Here, wish you'd never found me:


Knit 2, purl 2, knit 2, purl 2!
Allover ribbing be fo' yo' pleasure
(it's easy fo' pussies what can't measure)
Wanna make a sweater the homies will treasure?
Learn to shape yo' knittin', BITCH!

Knit into the front and into the back
Increase more if the hos be stacked!
(y'know ladiez in sweaters cause the heart attack)
Makin' a stitch fo' the increase WUT!

Slip slip knit, slip slip knit!
That's the way we decrease WUT!
Knit two like they're one if you're lazy, son
Decreasin' fo' them curves (say WUT!)

Pieces all finished; time fo' mattress stitch!
The hos come runnin' fo' the mattress stitch!
Couple o' 40s with the mattress stitch!
Bottle o' cristal toasts the mattress stitch!
Mattress stitch is how it's made
SEAMIN' MY SWEATER IN MY ES-CA-LADE!






I think I just might take a picture of me trying to look like a thug and failing miserably. Should I be east or west side? Not like I know how to do the hand sign for either one.......


Trivia: I think it would be sort of redundant at the moment to point out that I'm so white I'm translucent, so......I really like tea. Maybe I'm secretly British. It would explain why so many people mistake me for a person with a british accent.....