altaris

You know its really sad when a boy can't see that you're jealous and that you still care. I don't know why he can't see it when my eyes well up with tears. God I hate this I thought the drama was out of my life. Maybe I need to just drop off the face of the earth again and stay away from everyone. That seemed to work and then I start hanging out with someone again and the drama comes right back...I feel so sad and I want to cry but I don't have a shoulder to cry on. Can't cry on Jordan's shoulder because he'll ask whats wrong and I can't tell him... If he can't see what's wrong than that's his problem. I hate having girl friends most of the time because they cause so much drama and most of my guy friends are never around and the ones that would be my shoulder and cuddle meh and tell me its alright and give me unconditional love aren't around or don't exist. I wish I hadn't started talking to her again. I reached out trying to be nice because that's who I am and i'm getting fucked over again. I shouldn't have opened my mouth I should have just kept it shut like I normally do.

I know you're probably sitting there reading this like "Aww, dun be sad!" Well it's a lot easier said than done. I don't know maybe i'm being selfish. I don't think so but whatever. On top of everything i've been mad all day long, i'm sick on top of that and i've been either horrible cold or burning up all day long. It freaking sucks when you can't get warm or you can't cool off. There is no middle groun dhere and that makes it worse. I snapped on NextTuesday today without really meaning too. I told her I was sorry and she knows i get pissy when im sick so I hope she forgives me I still love her.

I wish Aaron were here. He'd cuddle me and set shit straight. He always does. He's my rock. Iunno I guess i'm just going to sit here munch my chips drink my soda then crawl into bed and watch movies...Bah... this day sucks!!!