altamedic

Death. im so sick and fuckin tired of it. sorry i have not been around lately but i found out a old friend of mine passed onto the next life. He was only 31 years old. He ate a shotgun. we were in the military together. fuck. you know my life is not a bed of roses, but there are days that i wish i could take the eternal sleep. im tired. tired of hurting, tired of being alone. tired of waking up everyday. it seems that everytime i get my life together or so it seems that i get knocked back a few paces. im losing the race here and im getting sick of it.
i know ill be better once we get working again out in the oil patch. im just really feeling usless here. im embarrassed as hell. today im heading down to make a appointment to the food bank. im even going to see if the salvation army here will help me with my rent for this month. fuck. i feel like such a damn loser. i hate feeling this way.