altamedic

well todays blog was going to be about my walk home yesterday morning from work. it was so relaxing and peaceful. i have to cross a old railroad bridge that was converted over for foot traffic. the river seems to be a bit higher than the last time i had crossed it 2 days earlier. i stood looking over the railing and watching the water flow by. i actually felt a peace i have not felt in about 5 or 6 months now. god it felt good. then i headed home and every step felt heavier and heavier. all the worries, and concerns came rushing back on me. oh well. that was going to be the start of my blog but instead................................................................................................



WOOHOOO i am heading back to the oilfield to work!!!! or i hope i am. i have to call my mom here asap ((its 842am here but only 742am there so i need to wait about 20 mins before calling since i never call before 8am thier time!)) i have to swallow my pride and ask her for some finacial help. I need to jump on a bus at 945pm tonight and take a 17 hour and 20 min bus trip up to Fort Nelson B.C. the job starts on the 12th of May at 0700 hours. its gonna be a long trip. but damn i want to get back to being a medic again and feeling like a human and useful. i have been in such a deep funk ((though you would not be able to tell from my comments on blogs hehe)). its scary being this depressed. i wonder what it would be like to be gone. history, no more. well those dark thoughts are now gone with one email from an employer! damn i need time to go by quicker hehe. oh yeah if i do go there might be a chance that i will not respond to any emails, or comments for about a month. i am not sure if there will be internet access where i am going. if there is great!! if not ill work on getting it when i get up there hehe. damn i am so excited.

thank you to everyone who keeps sending emails and comments that boost my moral and feelings up. i love you all and hope the best for you too.

im just too excited right now to keep going on my blog...maybe if i jump in the shower then i can call mom.....anyway hugs to everyone and talk to you later!!!!!!


Alta


its 217pm and i just got a call from the oilfield company. I will not be going up there till the 20th or 22nd due to crappy road conditions. UGH i was so freaking excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why do i get screwed like this????? mom got me the bus ticket but now what do i do with it? maybe she can get a refund...sigh..

now im freaking depressed again....... sigh.....

im going back to bed.....

alta