WOW. im in shock right now. Not a good shock either. Everything i worked hard on in getting my self esteem just went down the toliet BIG TIME.
Numbness, disappointment, shame, fear, these are what im feeling at this time.
I thought i would try to surprise all my friends on BCB group today by maybe doing a "set" of myself. I woke up and just felt impulsive. And the fact that i shaved my hair off too had a bit to do with it. (I will post some pics of the haircut look in a few mins, oh then i shaved everything off even though i did like the look but i have to look professional out here and that while looked cool i did not think it would be accepted out here hehe)
I was totally enspired by how people have the I dont give a shit what you think of me Im fuckin beautiful and here i am. Love me for who i am not who i pretend to be.
So things were going great. i figured out how to work the timer on my digital camera. Got 8 or 9 pics. then downloaded them onto my computer. Started to look at them to see which ones i wanted to use........I never got past the 2nd pic.
Remember when i talked earlier in my blogs about being fat not cuddly. Well these pics enforced that HUGE! Now dont get me too wrong here, i dont mind pics of me from say the nipples up. Those i can accept, but after the 2 pics i seen, no matter how much i wish i could share with the world but i cannot and will not be posting any pics of me from the chest down, unless im clothed. I feel so damn upset that you all post these awesome pics (which i LOVE looking at!!) and i cannot do the same.
Numbness, disappointment, shame, fear. Yeah, i thought i was doing great with my wieght loss. I guess i have a hell of alot to go before il be comfortable with myself.
Anyway you all take care and ill see you all later!!
Huge Hugs To all you!!
From the Cold great white north
Numbness, disappointment, shame, fear, these are what im feeling at this time.
I thought i would try to surprise all my friends on BCB group today by maybe doing a "set" of myself. I woke up and just felt impulsive. And the fact that i shaved my hair off too had a bit to do with it. (I will post some pics of the haircut look in a few mins, oh then i shaved everything off even though i did like the look but i have to look professional out here and that while looked cool i did not think it would be accepted out here hehe)
I was totally enspired by how people have the I dont give a shit what you think of me Im fuckin beautiful and here i am. Love me for who i am not who i pretend to be.
So things were going great. i figured out how to work the timer on my digital camera. Got 8 or 9 pics. then downloaded them onto my computer. Started to look at them to see which ones i wanted to use........I never got past the 2nd pic.
Remember when i talked earlier in my blogs about being fat not cuddly. Well these pics enforced that HUGE! Now dont get me too wrong here, i dont mind pics of me from say the nipples up. Those i can accept, but after the 2 pics i seen, no matter how much i wish i could share with the world but i cannot and will not be posting any pics of me from the chest down, unless im clothed. I feel so damn upset that you all post these awesome pics (which i LOVE looking at!!) and i cannot do the same.
Numbness, disappointment, shame, fear. Yeah, i thought i was doing great with my wieght loss. I guess i have a hell of alot to go before il be comfortable with myself.
Anyway you all take care and ill see you all later!!
Huge Hugs To all you!!
From the Cold great white north
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fragglerocker:
Im sorry you feel that way. Until you love yourself others cant love you. Own your curves and your big sexyness! We all hope you get another urge to do a set and post it 
avidity:
hey you are awesome. whether you think you are fat, cuddly, big, small, purple, or blue. you are awesome. i think you should post them. i want to see them. 
now that work isn't owning my life for the next couple days, i'll be seeing ya more often. mmmmmuah! 
now that work isn't owning my life for the next couple days, i'll be seeing ya more often. mmmmmuah!