alphamale

There's a small scratch on my ankle. It doesn't really hurt but it's there and I don't know where it came from. I just noticed it today and it already looks like it's a day or two old. It actually looks like it might leave a tiny scar.

Since I don't know where it came from I'm going to have to make something up. If someone were to ask me how I got that tiny scar, I can't tell them 'I don't know'. I would look stupid.

I think I'll pretend that it's some kind of rare poisonous spider bite. Some huge rabid spider chased me down and tried to eat me. Yeah, and then I pulled out some crazy-ass matrix-style shit and whooped the giant spider's ass. Then I stood over his big'ol dead body and in my best Clint Eastwood voice I said:

"That's for little Miss Muffet, MotherFucker"

So if anybody asks if I was biten by a gi-normus blood-thirsty spider, you say, "Yes". It'll be our little secret.