alphamale

It's so hard to be nice. I'm generally a pretty kind person but lately I find myself in the middle of conversations and I just want to scream "FUCK YOU!!". Now naturally, I can't just run around screaming at people so I have to imagine it. I imagine; Me right up your face, screaming at the top over my lungs and you cowering in fear. I know this is wrong but imagining it is much better than actually doing it.

I know the only reason I'm in a pissy mood is because I quit smoking. It's no excuse and I don't expect people to treat me special because I'm trying to quit. I actaully had a friend tell me that she was "going to make sure and ask me, everyday; whether or not I had a smoke." On the surface this sounds like wonderfully sweet thing to say. But I just wanted to grab her pretty little face and scream.
"Oh!! Yea , that's a great idea; Remind me, EVERY..STINKING..DAY of SOMETHING I'm trying very hard to forget all about! "
But I can't say that so instead, I remember that she's just trying to help in the best way she knows how. I smile and say "Thank you soo much, it's nice to have your support." When I really want to say; "Everything about you annoys the fuck out of me right now and I'd like nothing more than to punch you in the mouth so you'll shut up.

I'm going for a walk now. The fresh air will do me good, right?