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alphamale

Portland

Member Since 2003

Followers 12 Following 8

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Friday Mar 07, 2003

Mar 6, 2003
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I have issues with child-proof caps... there I said it. I hate having to line up the stupid little triangles. And don't even get me started about that useless peice of cotton that they stick in every bottle. I think it stems from my early childhood....

We lived in northeast Portland near the old Circus Burger. Me, Mom, her new boyfriend Roy and our cat "One eyed Jack". I don't remember having an actual babysitter but I was always watching cartoon's over at little jenny-so-n-so's house. Her mom would always change it to the news during the commercial's and I saw a newsflash about poison in asprin. Somebody had somehow tainted bottles of asprin with poison and people were getting really sick. We had a bottle at our house! eeek

I ran back to my house. Mom and Roy weren't back from work yet so I went straight into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabnet. Then I had to find the 'Asprin". I knew my letters and I even knew what sounds they made. So it was just a matter of finding the ones that start with 'A'. Thank goodness, There was only one that started with an 'A'. All I had to do then is get it open and pour the tiny little pills of death down the toilet.

"Yes, of course, just twist...and...hmm... what's this say...CH..I..ld..Pur...oof"
Clearly this was going to take some work. I banged the bottle on the counter...nothing. I threw it on the ground as hard as my little arms could throw...nothing. I stomped on it and kicked it around the bathroom until my legs gave out.
There I sat, just me, the bottle and 'One eyed Jack'. He was sitting up on the back of the toilet staring at me. That one little eye of his was trying to tell me something. He looked down at the toilet and looked back at me. He knew that lives were at stake here.He was telling me to flush it anyway. He was right, damn the toilet!! My family's life was at risk here and those pills had to go one way or another.

I snatched up the bottle, stuffed it down to the bottom of the toilet and flushed. It had a little trouble going down so I had to give it a couple of good shoves. I shoved it up to the point no return and flushed again. 'Was that the toilet or the cat that groaned at the water that was spilling onto the floor? I jumped up and flushed it again. I don't know why I thought that would help but now I knew... it was the toilet. I killed the toilet with a bottle of poisoned asprin! eeek

If I had been able to open that stupid bottle, that toilet might still be alive today mad

Child-Proof caps BLOW!! smile
freyja__:
thats why i collect little containers.
who needs a child proof bottle when you can use a cute little single serving size honey or jam jar?
of course.. i dont have kids to eat pills in my mint box thinking they're candy.
that would be baaaaaaaad.
Mar 7, 2003
clara:
Thanks for this story. I am now having a giggle-fit. smile
Mar 7, 2003

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