I absolutley love my mind. I can say anything and everything that is going on in my head, heart, and soul is transcribed onto this computer or in my poetry books.
Two past journals that I love, but others think are all sad and shit.
I say HA to you cause that is life and this life is full of sadness and regret. This life is full of horror and outcasts. This life is mine and it is damned. I love this life and it is me. All I know is how to be me and that is such a blessing.
March 2, 05
Wow, just wow. I have never felt so lonely then right now.
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but my heart aches. The broken bits are stabbing me, hurting me. Knife in hand, slice my chest open. Pull the ribs back and rip it out. Stitch in hand needle and thread. Slowly, but surely my heart will be stitched together again. Every time I love I get fucked in the end. Last time I was told about me being fucked over I just laughed. Laughed right in his face. I thought he was different and I was right again that he somehow would screw me over just like the rest. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Can you hear the insane laughter that pours from me?????
Blue eyes stare back at her. Tears fall to floor rolling down her cheeks. The heated tears warm me from the coldness.
Just say Goodbye....................
March 8, 05
These scars that show are my only salvation. My pride to be alive!!!!!! My sanity in knowing that I walked away from that HELL in which I dwelled. That darkness in which I was consumed in feeling it would last forever............
Alive and well today I know my future holds something dear.
I am doing grand today. I just thought of these two journals and smiled real big. Tonight is Rasputina at the Galaxy club. On Commerce street and that means ANGRY DOG NACHOS!!!!!!!!!
Gonna drink and hear the violins play their sweet melody and the cellos play their somber lullaby.
Going alone, but like Otep no one knows who they are really.
Tonight is gonna ROCK!!!!!!!!
And 7 days in counting til I hit 35 to Austin. Gonna meet some awesome people and see NIN. Can't fucken wait!!!!!
Two past journals that I love, but others think are all sad and shit.
I say HA to you cause that is life and this life is full of sadness and regret. This life is full of horror and outcasts. This life is mine and it is damned. I love this life and it is me. All I know is how to be me and that is such a blessing.
March 2, 05
Wow, just wow. I have never felt so lonely then right now.
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself, but my heart aches. The broken bits are stabbing me, hurting me. Knife in hand, slice my chest open. Pull the ribs back and rip it out. Stitch in hand needle and thread. Slowly, but surely my heart will be stitched together again. Every time I love I get fucked in the end. Last time I was told about me being fucked over I just laughed. Laughed right in his face. I thought he was different and I was right again that he somehow would screw me over just like the rest. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Can you hear the insane laughter that pours from me?????
Blue eyes stare back at her. Tears fall to floor rolling down her cheeks. The heated tears warm me from the coldness.
Just say Goodbye....................
March 8, 05
These scars that show are my only salvation. My pride to be alive!!!!!! My sanity in knowing that I walked away from that HELL in which I dwelled. That darkness in which I was consumed in feeling it would last forever............
Alive and well today I know my future holds something dear.
I am doing grand today. I just thought of these two journals and smiled real big. Tonight is Rasputina at the Galaxy club. On Commerce street and that means ANGRY DOG NACHOS!!!!!!!!!
Gonna drink and hear the violins play their sweet melody and the cellos play their somber lullaby.
Going alone, but like Otep no one knows who they are really.
Tonight is gonna ROCK!!!!!!!!
And 7 days in counting til I hit 35 to Austin. Gonna meet some awesome people and see NIN. Can't fucken wait!!!!!
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[Edited on May 18, 2005 8:10PM]