Tuesday Dec 17, 2002

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It sure is weird being ousted by quite literally every person you've ever come in contact with in your entire life, yet you have no idea why.

I do appreciate the drunken phone calls at 5am telling me "wtf d00d why aren't you the partynmin?"

I think I finally have a good grasp on why I'm such an elitist prick.
user8935778:
ahha you need new friends. im a good friend. weeeeeee!
allonblack:
I need friends like I need a mack truck running over my groin.

I don't have as much faith in people as I used to.

Tonight, we drink!

Monday Dec 16, 2002

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Lately, I've been meeting a lot of really "big" girls, that only date skinny guys. I'm talking 5'1' 160 lb girls that refuse to date guys over 160 lbs.....

Tell me again about male privelige.

Yeah hi. I'm a really fat guy, but I only date 110 lb girls with DD tits.

There ya go ladies. There is one part of female privelige.

I think...
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alice:
i've actually been trying to be good and not drink that much soda, just a lot of water and some juice. but chocolate always makes me feel better... until i realize i'm half way through the box and it's only been in my hands for half an hour.

everyone has their type. for all those big girls that love skinny dudes, there are plenty of skinny dudes who love bigger girls. to each his own, i guess.
allonblack:
Ignore me. I'm really, really, really, really bitter.

About everything. I'm serious.

My weekend was grand. I drank girly drinks, watched Heaven, drank soda, played video games, etc...

Sunday Dec 15, 2002

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I hate poetry.

Except,

Bukowski, because he had real fucking issues that he needed to talk about. He had something interesting to say.

Hemngway. Again, he had some problems, and issues, and when he said something was going to die, or that he was sad, I believe him because he was an old drunk.

Whitman. It's genuine.
thnkhvn4lilgirls:
Yeah, Bukowski 'cause he had something interesting to say....or his unique way of describing women! hahaha he's something else.

How about Richard Brautigan? Try that one on for size. It'll make your head spin.
johncocktoastin:
YEAH YEAH YEAH! bukowski!!!
i hate poetry too, the flowery bullshit, blah blah blah...but bukowski, straight, to the point, no bullshit.

i love paris...you know that one?

hey- i'm 24 days older than you...haha

Friday Dec 13, 2002

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As a heterosexual male, I'm breaking new ground and trying to tear down those stereotypes of the typical hetero male.

For example, tonight, I'm going to get drunk on apple martinis.
user8935778:
ahhahaah how did it go?

my best friend actually is married to this guy who LOVES apple martinis.. ahahah i can't even drink that stuff. it's too prissy.
allonblack:
Pretty well actually. I drank life 5 apple martini's at the Brazen Bean then wandered off to some dive in SE and finished the night on tall cans of Pabst to reclaim my role as a male.

I'm a rather big burly scruffy looking guy, and I was drinking a green drink with a slice of apple in it, and out of all the guys at the bar the bartrendress asked me to open the bottle of grenadine she couldn't open. So, I'm still hetero, and fighting the good fight.

Monday Dec 09, 2002

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To the vivacious new friend I made,

What I meant was I lost myself. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I was all about, what I was doing here, who I was going to become and what kind of people I wanted to include in my life.

But, as it turns out, that ship not only drifted a bit of course,...
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allonblack:
That's what I had though. I was so fucking content. My mind was finally shut off for a few hours a day and I could just relax and be alive. That was good enough. The best way to put it, is I had peace of mind.

I found that. And slowly but surely, it's coming back. And my credo of "nothing in life is permanent but you" is coming back to haunt me. I don't feel that I'm really chasing anything. But, I'm trying to let it come to me. Maybe I should be thankful those ideas and feelings are long gone. Maybe that was the wrong way to live, even if I was ultimately happy and feeling at ease.

Who knows..... Not I
user8935778:
don't be silly. you're not permanent. you're life is like a nano-second in time. just like how once you were never here, soon your body will be dust in the ground.

just fuckin' enjoy it. what's got you thinkin' too much anyhow? i find when i'm feelin' down about that kinda shit its because i'm thinkin' too much.. im me sometime. we can talk shit.

Sunday Dec 08, 2002

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It's you. You got me out of bed today with a smile. You poored me a glass of apple juice and put Sigur Ros on, just like you do every single day for the last 3 years.

It's you.
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fallen1carus:
pulp rules.
user8935778:
where'd you get lost? i suppose if yuo knwe, you wouldnt erally be lost. i get lost a lot. in my thoughts. with people. and the worst part is.. that a lot of times it happens while i drive. i shouldn't be driving. because i dream too much. i'm adding you as a friend. just letting you know.

Friday Dec 06, 2002

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Someone put me to bed and tuck me in. Please?
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lionboy:
Hey you stole my birthday, damn you!
allonblack:
Ohh Faith and Emily. The perpetual sweethearts!

Where have I been? Just dreaming and wishing and wanting.

Thursday Dec 05, 2002

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It's pretty amazing when you have a day where all you've done is clean your kitchen and answer your phone and you feel like you've won a battle.

Tuesday Dec 03, 2002

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I've been taking really generic American recipes and trying to make them vegetarian lately. For inctance, last night was vegetarian shepherd's pie. It tourned out so so so good! I can't wait to start my new job so I don't have to get excited about baking anymore.
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