alleycake

Its 2:15am, I can't sleep. Jons snoring but it only makes me think about how much I love him. I keep thinking about my dogs, my mom and dad, my cousins. I miss them all so much, and my dogs getting old and I'm scared. I have a math retake^3 test tomorrow, a chem. test and pre lab Thursday, a 5 page paper due Friday along with two math homework assignments. I wanna beat world 5 of Yoshi and finish Harry Potter. I want to write, I want to go to a hot springs resort and tan and read and get a massage in November. I'll miss my family over Thanksgiving, I hope I'm not getting too attached to Jon because I miss other people who love me. I hope Jon doesnt miss his family way more than he shows that he does. I hope we both do well this semester in school and I don't have to leave my whole new life to go back to Houston and commute 1.5 hours to classes everyday. I hope school ends up being worth it, when Chuckie Cheese's gets more fun than class, there's reason to worry. I used to love class, this year is so different. I still like learning, I just feel like there's more, I want more out of class because now I'm getting more out of life? I feel like I'm starting a new era, like this is what "my life" is going to be compared to what it was when I lived at home, in my parents way of life. I hope I'm getting off on the right foot. I need to eat better, work out like I used to, and study like I used to. Things are so much better now and yet, seems like some of the fundamentals have gone missing. I'm messy, I'm lazy, I eat microwave food all the time, I smoke, I get C's on tests. I used to be a straight A student. This is more fun but what's more important? Maybe it's a phase.
Maybe it's not my house or my city I miss but parts of my old life. I can make them part of this life right? Just takes time, I'm new at this.

[/obligatory stream of consciousness emo rant of the week]