allegro

I'm back...

Well, sorta kinda. At least I'm around MORE.
Getting the show open was a big deal. The build up of stress I was holding in for the sake of my cast and crew was immense. I couldn't orgasm for over two weeks, which really says something.

Now I'm kinda back. I still have much less internet access, and there's still so much to do, but in a few days my body should catch up with me. Right now I vary between the need to gush this load of emotions, whether in tears or lust or joy or anger, and an inner deadness which is reflected in exhaustion and sick feelings.

The lust side is really interesting. I just want to feel closer to the people I like more. It's been years since that has expressed itself as "I want to sleep with you now" every time, but now I'm drawn to dangerous ex-lovers (aren't all of them dangerous?), drawn to incredible gay male friends (why can't I be an attractive gay man when I'm in the mood?), drawn to friends I depend on, all because some part of me has woken up. It's wild, and I can't say I'm crazy about it. The fantasies are certainly wild though.

So how are y'all doing?

Love to you...