allegro

Happy new year interwub peeps.

My pagan ex-lover was so utterly surprised last night to discover I'm not so pagan anymore. Of course, that disclosure was on the heals of guiding a hurting (emotionally) pagan friend through a very pagan meditation and, at her request, spending hour discussing her faith, advising what sort of groups would be just for her, even discussing what deities she might was the consider studying and building relationships with. I certainly still have the knowledge base, and as a giving soul (and certifiable manipulative person) I am prepared to present information in the way that is will do the most good (within some limit, of course). With her, she respects me as someone with more positive coven and ritual experience than her, and that is true regardless of my current beliefs, but I am definitely on shaky ground here.

So am I a hypocritical atheist?

My last High Priest was in the same quandary, only more so. He's an atheist, but was also one of the most prominent pagans in NYC. So how did he manage to lead, educate, counsel, aide, and guide his students and coven when his own beliefs should indicate that he is guiding these people into a potentially dangerous god illusion?
Well, in his case, he believed tat the capacity of humans to affect their own world is huge. He believed in what is by some called a "holy guardian angel", a divine spirit that lives in each person. He would not school people towards spells meant to affect others (many are considered unethical anyway, which helped) but he was a fan of anything used to aide in personal development and inner peace. He went against any religious notions of complacency in your our fate. Teaching a faith that always require mundane action to pair with magickal action or requests for divine intervention helps too, as did the fact that taught a faith that requires no intermediary (that covers two evils at least). He felt he could use the framework of paganism to help people and help them help themselves.
I guess it's not surprising to find me doing the same thing. I want to help, and I will use what tools are available. Truth to tell, I miss my pagan faith. Thing is, once you know better, you can't unlearn that. I can't feel as positive as he did.

I guess that will keep me from a future as an evil preacher.


Short aside: Just saw a new Macy's jewelry ad that used "Season's of Love" from Rent. Wow. You can't really measure how flabbergasted I am. Also mad. Definitely.

Love to you, and Happy Halloween...