Wedding day moving again. Not far though. Still frustrating. No easier sense of finances. Why couldn't I have fallen for someone who could provide financial security as much as he spews its value?
But I love him, and that won't stop.
The desire for others still haunts me. Not the same ones necessarily. Sometimes even more dangerous ones, sometimes passing mild. It comes and goes of course, but I do truly miss the random bursts of pursued lust. Maybe it could be mine again, but that will require talking to the man I'm marrying.
Meanwhile, I am off to his best pal's to watch some Dr. Who. Something pleasant to fill an evening whose open possibilities leave mean feeling more closed and anxious than open and excited.
Love to you.
But I love him, and that won't stop.
The desire for others still haunts me. Not the same ones necessarily. Sometimes even more dangerous ones, sometimes passing mild. It comes and goes of course, but I do truly miss the random bursts of pursued lust. Maybe it could be mine again, but that will require talking to the man I'm marrying.
Meanwhile, I am off to his best pal's to watch some Dr. Who. Something pleasant to fill an evening whose open possibilities leave mean feeling more closed and anxious than open and excited.
Love to you.
I hope you get a balance of the open and closed, that works for you, and gives you the life you want.