allegro

And the cycles continue.



And perhaps more telling,



And now I reconsider again. Maybe it's worth the debt to get married sooner. It's one way to increase the chances my dad won't crazy himself to death first, and that it could be before my mom finally breaks free and moves far far away, and before I'm left to care for my work phobic but brilliant sister.

I'm so frustrated with my place. In life, I mean. I want a different job, but I still don't know which way to point myself. I'm a boss in a field I don't want to be in, in a company I can't advance in.

Will I ever be able to go back to school? Who knows. Maybe after a baby.

That's a sooner possibility in my life than I give it credit for. I may well be 30 before I'm married, and I won't be like my aunt having kids after 40, terrifying herself that her kids have any one of hundreds of problems associated with late childbirth.

I can't seem to register than my possible accomplishments AREN'T all behind me. I'm not that old, for chissakes. It's' something to talk about with the therapist, I guess.

Tell me a "later" accomplishment. Something awesome you did after you thought you could. Tell me some way you surprised you.

Thank you.

Love to you...