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allegro

NYC

Member Since 2007

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Tuesday Feb 16, 2010

Feb 16, 2010
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And as soon as I make peace with it, it all falls apart.

We're cutting costs wherever we can, but my wedding will be more expensive than we can afford. The idea of a bridge loan to pay for it is a terrible one. The idea of postponing it is more reasonable, but the idea of going through the misery I've had so far twice is worse than nauseating. We've done so much work already and we'd just have to do it over again.

When I tell my mother I don't think we can afford this wedding, she says elope in Vegas, at which point I have to remind her that going to Vegas would also be expensive. I didn't think I'd have to remind her that being surrounded by friends and family on one of the most significant days of my life is important to me, but it seems she doesn't know that.


Understand that in the past few months (since I've become engaged) my mother has replaced all the windows in her house, invested in new furniture, and installed a new security system. My father bought a new $6000 television. And neither of them have any money they can give me to offset the cost of food, photos, space, anything.
They say they'd like to give us money, but as the saying goes, if wishes were horses, I could fly.

According to my sister, my mother thinks I'm getting married for health insurance. That's it. Even if she didn't, I know she thinks my wedding is not her problem. That's enough to make my hubby want to swear her off forever.

My folks don't care. So now things get really hard.

I've been so stressed I wake up with bile in my mouth every morning (for months). My chest is pounding in my head. I break down very easily and simply can't talk about this with any sense.

I'm trusting we can make this work, but I simply don't know.

If I hadn't JUST started to get over the dread and switch to excitement, this wouldn't be killing me so bad.

Someone may once have told me that getting married was wonderful. They must have meant the day-of.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
grayness:
You and he both have my very best thoughts. Much, much good luck is wished.
Feb 16, 2010
greaser:
Aww, hon, I wish you weren't having such a hard time with this.

Just try and keep things in perspective. You're marrying a man you love, and if you can do that with family and a few close friends around, nothing else really matters.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

But that's probably occurred to you already. It's a shame I'm so far away. I'm gifted when it comes to getting things done as cheaply and efficiently as possible. wink


Feb 17, 2010

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