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allegro

NYC

Member Since 2007

Followers 347 Following 296

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Friday Apr 10, 2009

Apr 10, 2009
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Jesus was nailed to a cross and I get a three day weekend. Thank you Jesus!


Moving out of my parent's house has been everything I hoped. The changes in me have been intense, but gradual so that I haven't even noticed them all. Ultimately I'm more relaxed, less stressed, and simply happier. It's by time I lived like a grown-up.

It's not perfect. It can't be, cause I don't know what perfect is for me yet. I'm learning as I go.
Living with my boyfriend is pretty darned great. I still get anxious over all sort of little things, but that dissolves more quickly than ever before. Living with this someone is something I should be been doing for awhile now, and we fit well.

The challenge now is that I feel a little isolated. I live away from my friends. I'm not far away, hell you can take the subway to get to me, and I drive to the old neighborhood all the damned time. But as of yet, I haven't had people up here.

In the past five years I had gotten out of the habit of having anyone visit me because I was a little ashamed of my living situation. Additionally, I spent so much time out of the house there was no point to having people there. I am no longer ashamed, I now lack space. But I spend time in it, and I want to share some of it.

So yay, I'm cleaning! Now we can have people over!

But figuring out who to invite into our little apartment with many small rooms challenges me to figure out who my friends are now.

The sad part is, I don't really know. I spent so much of the past year with Amanda (who is crazy but somehow still a friend, just one we consciously try to spend less time with) or with #3 (who I avoid like the plague now) that I'm not sure who I've got.

I've always been bad at keeping in touch with people. My friendships are affected strongly by the shows I'm in. You end up spending all your time with a small group of people for a a couple of months, out of which you form some instant tight friendships or animosities or something in between, then poof they're gone and you hope to see eachother again next show. Everything is like high school where you saw your friends every friggin' day, only you're all approaching 30 and school only lasts for 3 months. If you are lucky you work with the ones you like again, and it often happens, but not always.
And since there is always another show to steal all your time, the plan to go out and get coffee once a week or go shopping together or have movie night can get lost. I've determined to get better at it, cause there are people I really miss who I know miss me.

I'm sure I can make it work. Of course, there are those rehearsals four nights a week...

Love to you.
Happy Pesach everybody!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
morgan:
HAHAHA, wow, Amazon is stupid if they think they can call that a glitch. Especially since, apparently, they sent letters to some writers in advance to let them know their books would be pulled. Glitch my ass!
Apr 12, 2009
_margot_:
thank you, love
Apr 17, 2009

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