allegro

Scene 2

(A small, sterile waiting room, six weeks later. There is a row of chairs against the back wall, a receptionist's booth on the left, with a door leading off to examination rooms. On the right is the door from the street. We see DONNA sitting alone in the middle of the row of chairs, trying unsuccessfully to occupy herself with a magazine. JEFFREY enters and stands by the door.)

JEFFREY: Oh, I'm sorry.

DONNA: Oh, hi. Please, sit.

JEFFREY: I don't want to [intrude]

DONNA: Please Jeffrey.

(Jeffrey sits. Pause.)

JEFFREY: It's quiet here today.

DONNA: Yep. Sure is.

JEFFREY: How long has she...

DONNA: Oh, about twelve minutes or so.

JEFFERY: Okay. So. (Painful pause.) When did she tell you?

DONNA: Oh, yesterday.

JEFFREY: Oh. (Pause.) Donna, I'm so sorry, I can... I can't really explain...

DONNA: You know who I don't understand? Me. What's wrong with me. I thought I prepared myself. I knew you two were going to sleep together before you knew. All these little things came together and it seemed so obvious.

JEFFREY: What was obvious?

DONNA: I know flirting doesn't mean anything, but she was always different with you. At first I thought it was just your history together; you knew her so much better than I did. Maybe you still do, I don't know. You are still the only person she holds as tightly as she does me. And she talked about feeling like a gay man for so long...

JEFFREY: Donna, she never How She never told me.

DONNA: Maybe she was afraid you wouldn't understand.

JEFFREY: She knows me better than that. She never...

DONNA: And I figured, maybe I gave her permission. I told her that when she needed to, she should go for it. Fill that desire, whatever that void was that I couldn't fill. I will never be enough for her, I just keep telling myself that this was the way to be perfect for her; I would give her what she wants, even if it isn't me. Of course, she said she never would. But I felt so good for offering. And I meant it all too. I never thought it could be someone close like you. She even said so. We both knew it would be wrong, even though she always wanted you and never told anyone, not even me. Besides, you know she's so resistant to change or anything new, seems funny for such a fabulous queer, don't you think? No new brand of toothpaste let alone a new paint color for the walls...

JEFFREY: (in his own world) Why did she... why didn't (comes back) I'm so sorry.

DONNA: So yesterday she told me what happened, so I used what I already thought to explain it away. But you know what? You can't get pregnant from what she wanted. So I don't... (DONNA starts to break down, composes herself. JEFFREY is unsure of how to console her.) I know she wouldn't do this to me on purpose. Either of you. I'm sure she didn't know that this was the worst possible thing to do. The biggest hole in my chest. So little could ever really hurt me this way. I mean, if she thought about it, she might consider...

JEFFREY: We never wanted to hurt you Donna.

DONNA: I know that. It simply wasn't about me. (Pause.) She told me it was bad, so...

JEFFREY: Did she?

DONNA: Should I believe her Jeffrey?

JEFFREY: I... (Pause.)

DONNA: No, it's okay. I'm sorry I asked you that. I already drew my own conclusions anyway. She's trying so hard to find some way to make it better. I think we all know better than that.

JEFFREY: What do you want to do now?

DONNA: I suppose I'm supposed to be the bad guy now, and scream and yell and leave.

JEFFREY: You wouldn't be wrong to...

DONNA: I can't. It's not in me. (Pause.) I love her so much Jeff.

JEFFREY: I know. I love her too.
(DONNA cries. JEFFREY cautiously tries to console her, and she accepts his arm.)

DONNA: Oh God, what are we gonna do?

JEFFREY: Wait? (Pause.) I'm glad you aren't leaving. She needs you.

DONNA: Well, she needs you too. We're just one big happy family. Oh God...

JEFFREY: We don't know for sure yet.

DONNA: But I just know. There's some new life here that's bigger than this whole mess. And I don't think we're ready for children.

JEFFREY: Well, maybe all together...

DONNA: This was never part of the big plan, the dream. How could it be? When we were really ready, we'd start a family. We'd get some donor. I'd get pregnant. Our baby would be just ours. I guess that's shot now.

JEFFREY: Is that so bad?

DONNA: We even talked about who we wanted as a donor. You were always the first name, but she thought you'd never be happy leaving all the parenting to us. I told her you wouldn't have to, we'd just have to talk about it. After all, we're friends. But we should have asked you anyway.

JEFFREY: She told me Donna. I wanted to.

DONNA: Of course, it wouldn't have been for years, but...

JEFFREY: We'd be this...

DONNA: strange -

JEFFREY: fabulous -

DONNA: little family. Just not now. And not like this. (Pause.) I'm so tired. I do love you Jeff. I might hate you a little, but I love you. Truly. Plus, I think all that jealousy is fading.

JEFFREY: I'm a marginally employed gay man in love with an engaged lesbian. What is there for you to be jealous of?

DONNA: Attention. Jane's. She gives so much of it to you. I wanted there to be some big real reason that wasn't "We're close friends." I felt like I was being lied to when I wasn't. Now I As painful as it might be for me, this might ultimately be better. It can be. Right?

JEFFREY: I hope so. (Pause.) I don't understand you, Donna.

DONNA: That's okay. Neither do I. (Pause.) I know that if I leave the room, she will finally come out.

JEFFREY: If you really need to go, go. I'll hold her here for you. Not literally, I promise.

DONNA: You didn't have to allude. I trust you. I'll be right back. (DONNA gets all the way to the door and turns back to JEFFREY.) I do. I don't know why. But I trust you Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: Thank you Donna.

(True to form, as soon as DONNA leaves for the bathroom, JANE enters. She and JEFFREY look at each other, and by JANE's look, JEFFREY can see DONNA was right.)

JEFFREY: The same?

JANE: Ha.

(Pause.)

JEFFREY: So you're

JANE: (JANE sits.) What? Knocked up? In a family way? Did I kill the rabbit? Pick one.

JEFFREY: Ok, ok. So are you going to [keep it?]

JANE: (Overlap "keep it") I don't know. Maybe. I might hate it. Scratch that. I do.

JEFFREY: Then you shouldn't.

JANE: No, I couldn't. It's I know I should talk to Donna about it first.

JEFFREY: What about me? I'm gonna be a [father.]

JANE: (Overlap "father") Don't say it.

JEFFREY: Why? If you have it I will be. This is not something I'm prepared for either. I deserve a little say.

JANE: If you don't want it, you don't have to be a part of this.

JEFFREY: I never said that.

JANE: Fine, but

JEFFREY: I never said I didn't want it.

(Pause.)

JANE: I'm sorry. What do you want me to do Jeffrey?

JEFFREY: Whatever's best for you.

JANE: Well, that whole exchange was pointless.

(Pause.)

JEFFREY: So, was it really bad?

JANE: Well, the doctor was very enthusiastic.

JEFFREY: No, I mean us.

JANE: I told her it was bad because I wanted to make it easier for her.

JEFFREY: You didn't answer my question. You never told me you felt like a gay man. Why didn't you tell me?

JANE: She told you?

JEFFREY: Why didn't you tell me?

JANE: Because it didn't matter. Not then, anyway.

JEFFREY: Did you tell me anything that day? Anything true?

JANE: I told you lots of truths. Just not everything. Where is Donna?

JEFFREY: The bathroom. Even in the moment, while we were... why not just move me, whisper something, change us around...

JANE: Because Because I have no guts about this. Because I thought I was doing what you wanted. Because maybe some recurring fantasies should stay fantasies. Because those feelings and you have nothing to do with each other. Because I'm afraid of what I might feel. Because at the timeYou know me by now. Can't you answer this question? You'd probably come up with a better answer than me.

JEFFREY: I'm sorry. I should know. But I don't.

JANE: No, you shit. (Pause.) Would you even have wanted me that way?

(Pause. The two look at each other. JEFFREY breaks.)

JEFFREY: There's probably better times and places to talk about this. How are you feeling?

JANE: Like I just swallowed arsenic and the doctor is trying to tell me it's a good thing.
Things were so good, Jeff. For once, I loved my life the way it was.

JEFFREY: We all have to change sometime.

JANE: Well, you know me.

JANE and JEFFREY: Always one to fight it.

(JEFFREY softly sings the chorus and the last two lines of "I Am A Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel. They pause. JANE moves closer to JEFFREY and takes his hand.)

JANE: (without meeting his eyes) I love you Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: You... (Pause) My, this is one long bathroom break.

JANE: I love you. I said it. I love you, and I love Donna. And I love this thing growing in me. I hate it, I love it. I don't want it in my body, it feels so fuckin' wrong. It doesn't belong there. It should be Donna's. Hell, it should be in you, you'd probably be more comfortable with it. But it's there, and I love it. I don't have a choice in that. And now I don't know what to do about any of it.

(Donna re-enters. She cried more and has made the attempt to cover her tears. JANE stands.)

DONNA: Hi Jane.

JANE: Hi Donna. (Pause.) Please be angry with me.

DONNA: I'm sorry Jane, that's something I can't give you.

JANE: Donna, I'm so

DONNA: Don't say it.

JEFFERY: Listen

JANE: But I

DONNA: No Jane. Not now. Please, not ever.

JEFFREY: Now I know it's my turn to leave.

JANE: We all need to go. The damned appointment's over! (JEFFREY heads towards the door.)
Come on Jeffrey!

DONNA: Talk to me.

JANE: Look, I don't know what to do besides apologize and beg.

DONNA: Pick something else. Say you love me.

JEFFREY: I'm going. You two need to talk without me. Call me.

JANE: Jeff, you just said you want to be involved.

JEFFREY: That isn't this, [Jane!]

DONNA: (Overlap "Jane") Jane, look at me. Jeffrey -

JANE: Fine Jeff, go.

JEFFREY: I'm going.

DONNA: Nobody is leaving. Nobody is going anywhere unless they are getting a gynecological examination. (DONNA sits, beckons JANE to sit, then JEFFREY. They sit on either side of her.)
So I guess we all should talk.

JANE: Yeah. (Pause.) So...

JEFFREY: So... (Pause.)

DONNA: (Taking their hands.) So... baby makes four, huh? (DONNA finds a little smile. All look at each other. Lights fade.)

THE END