I am a walking contradiction... its like.. if you look at my pics and they i talk, i'm this complete sexual whore type person. I want people to look at me and want to fuck me, men and boys alike, i CRAVE the attention. I hung out with my exgirlfriend tonight for the first time in a while, i miss her alot. We went the mall, and we went to Fredricks of Hollywood, and she was helping me put a corset on in the fitting room, and the girl who worked there was like "do you need help with anything" she thought we were getting it on.. anyways.. She thinks im leading this like.. split life.. i think so too now that she explained it.. my mom and other people dont know about me and the permiscuous sex with these... basically... strangers i'm meeting off the net.. I just get so flattered and stuff when people compliment me on how i look..they just make these empty promises when really they are wondering what color panties i'm wearing..or if their voice on the phone is making my pussy wet... ugh. I'm really destroying myself inside by doing this...
(if u get grossed out easily, dont read this next bit)
Anyways when i had sex the other night.. and he made me bleed... .. this morning tried to get myself off cuz i was horny.. and i thought i was getting wet after doing some stuff.. but it was really just blood...
Maybe i should get checked out or somthing... i'm scared. he really tore me up... whenever i went to the bathroom today.. my piss was like... red tinted.. ugh i dont even want to think about it. i'm just hoping it will stop, and heal up..
Being around her tonite made me miss the old times... last summer, and the 2 summers before that... it pains me.. all the friends i had. the group of friends.. who for some reason hate me now. i just miss being around them... doing nothing... but it still meant somthing just to be a part of somthing that was a whole. it was like a puzzle piece and i fit perfectly into life those days... Now a days i just feel like the extra piece that fits no where.. but people are still picking me up and using me to see if i fit there. but then i just get thrown back into the box.. then eventually i will just be thrown into the trash because i am no longer needed, and i dont fit anywhere.
(if u get grossed out easily, dont read this next bit)
Anyways when i had sex the other night.. and he made me bleed... .. this morning tried to get myself off cuz i was horny.. and i thought i was getting wet after doing some stuff.. but it was really just blood...
Maybe i should get checked out or somthing... i'm scared. he really tore me up... whenever i went to the bathroom today.. my piss was like... red tinted.. ugh i dont even want to think about it. i'm just hoping it will stop, and heal up..
Being around her tonite made me miss the old times... last summer, and the 2 summers before that... it pains me.. all the friends i had. the group of friends.. who for some reason hate me now. i just miss being around them... doing nothing... but it still meant somthing just to be a part of somthing that was a whole. it was like a puzzle piece and i fit perfectly into life those days...
Now a days i just feel like the extra piece that fits no where.. but people are still picking me up and using me to see if i fit there. but then i just get thrown back into the box.. then eventually i will just be thrown into the trash because i am no longer needed, and i dont fit anywhere.VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
alkatraz:
What is THAT..its scary.....
psynapse:
hi, uh, i hope this won't feed into the negative cycle you had been describing, but i think you look ridiculously hot. hope everything goes okay, with the bleeding and what not. have a pleasant evening. 