alistairmather

apparently there are people in this world who are under the impression that i need a specific religion. for example, a woman who had way too much energy for the amount of strain her body must be suffering under constantly, comes barging into my office with a large amount of paperwork to be excised and dutied and essentially taxed to ridiculousness. as i shift into bastard civil servant mode, she proceeds to ask me if i talk to jesus. i, in fact, talk to jesus everyday: i have named the plant on my desk jesus, and it is the sole source of intelligent conversation i normally have available to me.
this is apparently blasphemy.
after a lengthy tirade, which i ignore by adding various unnecessary fees for the crap i am going through, she asks me what faith i proscribe to, and like the overly optimistic fool i am i tell her.
it is apparently impossible to be an omnitheist because first, you can't believe in everyones religions, practices, and deities, and secondly, there is only one god and his son jesus (a greivous insult to the plant as it seems to believe its place as jesus is just as important as any silly mammals')
after a disturbingly trying interrogation and lecture whose details i will not subject you too (though it almost took the permanently engrained civil servant smile from my face) she ends the "conversation", like any good born again christian who has found god not from a religious organization but from the source itself - the bible, by telling me she will pray for me.
of course i responded the only way i could - i laughed.