alistairmather

Fucking Christmas...

you know what? go out, right now, find yourself a nice fattened oxen and slaughter it. bathe in its warm entrails and viscous blood while dancing naked in the snow amid the conifers, all the while the scent of blood and death and pine and life flood your nostrils. let the bite of the cold remind you that you are alive and your enemies are not here to trouble you.

this is why red and green. this is why cold and merriment. this is why Christmas.

Fucking Christians.

every year i yearn only for one thing. every year comes and finds me not getting it. every gods damned year. even when i had someone who could give it to me, i never got it. so...

Fucking Christmas.

while the rest of you enjoy the company of someone worthwhile in a place you want to be, i am steadily drinking myself blind and deaf to avoid the shit of my settings and companions, all the while compiling the list of things that i fucked up in the previous year for my new years drinking/drug binge.

i am alone.

again.