alistairmather

fuck. i fucking hate this whole petty, stupid race. i hate the fact that the only thing i have ever asked of the inbred fucking morons who surround me is to pull their glazed unblinking eyes away from their inane repetitive sitcoms and scripted "reality" shows and take six fucking seconds to take a look at the world around them and see it from a perspective they have never seen. to HEAR what i say and not just decide what it was i said to them without actually applying any of that amazing, and apparently stagnating, processing power the large quantity of grey matter locked in their skulls gives them access to. and i would really like for them to open their fucking eyes and stop pretending that the happy lovely world they were force fed by their parents, their teachers, and their own fucking fears is only a very tiny part of the actual world and that what i say is not meant to be offensive or insensitive, but an honest and open appraisal of the world around us.

i am told i am offensive. do you know what it requires to be offended? it requires the AUDIENCE to interpret the speakers words in a manner that bothers them. the person speaking does not have to put any meaning behind his words, it is up to the AUDIENCE to determine how they perceive what has been said. that means that if YOU are offended by the words of another it is because YOU CHOSE TO BE, not because the speaker is trying to. in fact, in most cases i'll bet you find the speaker never intended for their words to bother you, they were just exercising their right to speak their mind.

think on that before you decide to assault the next person who says something you do not agree with. it is your fault you got upset, even if they were trying to provoke you. you can fucking think for yourself and choose your response. HEAR what others are saying, don't just listen.

i fucking hate october, and i especially hate this week. and just to add that extra ray of sunshine to my life my parents have decided to visit tomorrow. yaay me. fucking stupid idealistic assinine bullshit day.

oh yeah, as of friday, it has now been a year since i have had the pleasure of sharing my life with another who i thought cared, obviously i was wrong. in honor of the occassion i went out and drank myself blind. i was awoken the next day by the girls from down the hall to tell me that my poetry was wonderful. apparently, while heavily under the influence of irish whiskey i decided to scrawl something across the board on our door. everyone seems to like it, except the aforementioned inbred morons who decided to mark inane and insipid criticisms all over it this morning in an attempt to remind me what an asshole they have come to believe i am.

the truth fucking hurts.

anyway, i reproduce it here for you because i've already made any reader suffer through my personal tirade and for some reason people seem to like the crap i produce. hope this makes up for all the preceding bullshit.

fucking october.



Pain.
Pain like you wouldnt believe.
I clutch at my stomach, feeling the slick warm flow of blood, the viscous pliancy of intesteines,
my life.
Pain wrenches and tears through my gut. A gaping, widening hole, tearing through the center of my very being.
I think of her.
The first moment I saw her, the way I felt, the terrible/wonderful instant I realized I was in love.
Pain like you wouldnt believe.
And as my life slips away between my fingers, I realize something:
being in love,
dying,
They feel exactly the same.