alickalotapus

The voices in my head wont shut up and I cant sleep. Im fucking miserable and there is only one reason why. Im losing weight, feeling much better, looking better. Im making great money, and have nice things. Ive got a few close friends that are just incredible people. But i am so down lately. She keeps haunting me, wont stop calling. Im putting my life back together and Im still lonely. I keep pushing women away that try to get close to me. I cant go through another heart ache, Im still going through this one. If she would just vanish, it would be so much easier for me. I start to forget, or supress what damage she did and I begin to feel better and almost happy. Then something happens and for some reason she calls me or contacts me at work, and it takes weeks to put all the bullshit out of my mind again. Maybe Im the crazy one. I cant trust, I cant sleep, I cant be with anyone anymore. Its just too hard. Ive lost about 40 pounds, which is great. i think i just need to hide from the world while i lose another 100. Maybe find a good book to read and be content being alone and love no one, That way they cant hurt me anymore