Not sure what I want to write about today. Usually I'll have something in my mind and I just let it go and see what happens. Today there's no big idea bubbled to the surface.
Virginia has been in my head for days. I have been spending most of my time with Khalilah lately so it's feels odd but nice to be back with her. She is so self contained but quite fragile. I am a nervous witterer who either speaks constantly or doesn't say anything at all. Virginia speaks when she needs to or wants to but doesn't come across as intimidating. Not to me anyway. She just does her thing and loves her family and close friends and her passions.
I'm fast forwarding a bit here.
She came back from studying in New York ready to take on the world, but still young and scared. Jacob had just finished secondary school in St Cyrus and decided to move back to Dad's in Glasgow before going to art school. I was absolutely pissing my pants with excitement at the thought of me, Brodie and Jacob together again under the same roof. I didn't feel complete when we weren't together.
Brodie's life had changed a lot. He and Laura had married. They married at twenty which raised eyebrows but had been together since they were fourteen. They knew what they wanted and that was each other. They were both students when they wed. Brodie studying architecture, Laura studying to be a vet. Both long and difficult courses. The next year they were surprised with an addition to their family. Baby Iona was born completely unplanned, much loved and doted on, but throwing a hefty spanner into Laura's career plans for a while at least. Both families rallied round and Laura decided to take a year out to focus on motherhood then get back to university before she lost focus and threw it all away.
Nine months later Laura was dead. A brain haemorrhage took her swiftly and suddenly. Dad was ready this time and picked Brodie and his motherless daughter up in his arms and took them back to live in our limestone townhouse. Brodie is quiet now, unreadable. I cannot even imagine his pain. I cannot do anything to alleviate it for him either which makes me feel unbearably inadequate and useless and fucking feeble.
It was awkward at home now. We had to be quiet for Iona. Jacob and I were a few weeks away from out eighteeenth birthday. It was so solemn. We understood but wanted to have some fun. We were both looking for work with minimal success. We had a small amount saved up, me mostly from busking and my scholarship money, Jacob from working in a video rental shop.
We were idling a drizzly afternoon away watching tv. We wanted to plug in our guitars. I could hardly play piano as the baby was always sleeping or crying. We were bored. I said to Jacob, 'We could be bored and poor here or bored and poor in Paris.'
'Chyeah,' he scoffed.
'No, I mean it though,' I went on. 'What's keeping us here?'
Jacob looked around. It was June in Glasgow and it had rained all day. It would most likely rain tomorrow too. The house was silent apart from quiet voices on daytime tv in the background.
'Nothing really,' he said.
'Exactly. We've got enough money to get there on the cheap. Youth hostels are cheap as shit. We can earn money busking. You can do pavement art.' I was getting excited now. 'What's stopping us?'
'Well, nothing I guess,' said Jacob doubtfully.
I leapt up. 'Let's get packing,' I instructed him.
That night we left on the nastiest, grottiest bus that ever passed it's MOT. We were off on an adventure.