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I was disappointed I hadn't just run into him in the first place I went into. What would I do when I saw him anyway? There were pubs and bars wherever I looked. Shoppers sat outside having a drink before hitting the cinema after a day in town. Partiers just getting started on a big night out. Everyone looking for something. I felt lost.
I...
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I was out for a run with granny and granddad's fox coloured dog. It was a blazing summer day. We ran down the side of the school and could see some lads playing football on the patch of grass across the street. They were always there when it was sunny. As we ran past the ball skidded in front of us and bounced off the...
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I've seen a lot of mental health professionals over the years. Mostly in my teens and twenties. They've kind of left to putter about to my own devices now. There's only so much they can do. I'm glad I'm alive in the era that I am. Not so long ago I would have been flung in an asylum and left to walk around in circles...
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Not in a writing frame of mind today but I committed to nanowrimo so I must. Had a lovely walk along the beach with my mum and her cocker spaniel Georgie who is scrumptious. As soon as he saw me he threw himself on his back for belly rubs right in the middle of the street, the adorable little moron. It was really sunny and...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
alicerowena:
Thank you for the insight, that's a really perceptive comment and it's helpful to me to know how it comes across. Part of the story is my own experience, but obviously it will be taken to a dark extreme which I find fascinating and yet relatable somehow. I started suffering from depression and anxiety when I was in my teens but had it for a long time before I got any meaningful treatment, which is what we can see happening to the main character here. She is developing some seemingly harmless coping strategies. Nobody in her life is really looking out for her, or is really equipped to deal with it.
alicerowena:
@portrait_artist Thank you for reading, it means a lot to me.
Making sure I was logged out of instagram I looked up Lila's page, @Lilagym. I think she works as a personal trainer and also does modelling. I was really shocked to see her account has been deleted. Immediately I thought it was because of me. My mind started racing through all the possibilities involving her deleting her social media account due to getting sick of...
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(HOLY SHIT. THANK GOD I BACK STUFF UP AS I GO IN MY GOOGLE DRIVE. SG DELETED HALF OF WHAT I JUST WROTE WHEN I HIT POST.)
My first date was on the last day of the school summer holidays in 1991. I had just turned sixteen a few weeks before. I was a bit of a late bloomer, I know. I was painfully shy...
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I have a sore mouth today. At the grand old age of 44 I decided it was time for me to do something I've always wanted to do for myself and finally get my teeth straightened. I missed my chance when I was at school and it was free on the NHS as my parents never bothered to make me go to the dentist. I...
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Ugh, I need to write 1667 words a day if I'm going to complete nanowrimo. It's only November 3rd and I'm struggling already. Ok, time to squeeze more words out of my head.
I was lying in bed last Saturday morning. I take my tablet to bed with me. I use it as an alarm clock. Sometimes I struggle to get off to sleep so...
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This is a stream of conscious brain dump of ideas for my nanowrimo project. As all my future entries will be. It wont be coherent or even remotely polished. I don't even know why I'm putting this out there in public. Anyway, with that public service announcement out of the way, welcome to the tangled balls of string that is my mind.
I would be...
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1. What song have you been listening to on repeat lately?
Various Cocteau Twins tunes, especially Evangeline, Ice Blink Luck and Frou Frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires.
2. Do you have any upcoming tattoos planned?
Nope.
3. What’s your Hogwarts house?
I'd like to say Ravenclaw but it's really Hufflepuff.
4. Describe your ideal home.
Ooh a nice old fashioned cottage with fireplaces in the...
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cocteau8:
Cocteau Twins! Hence my username!
alicerowena:
Yes! I was hoping you might notice :) This post was written by 'me' but most of my posts are me sketching out my nanowrimo ideas so please enjoy them but don't take them literally!
Over the years, every now and again I would google Mark just to see what he was up to. Not in a creepy, obsessive way. I often wonder what exes are up to. Most I parted with on good terms and they were reasonable, decent people. Mark seemed to be on the surface but was abusive in private. Nothing ever really showed up. He must...
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Ex-boyfriend, let's call him Mark, wrote a novel whilst he was at art school. He never let me read it because I was a big reader and could actually cast a critical eye over a novel. He sent it to a few publishers who rejected it. It was about a shy, nerdy art school boy's shy nerdy adventures at art school. His main character was...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
alicerowena:
Haha oh thank you! I am blushing! Well, there's more coming. I very much enjoyed your post earlier about your wild (compared to mine, I was very much a good girl) youth. I spent some time in hospital due to depression and anxiety in my late teens too. I missed a huge amount of school because of it and it was dealt with really badly. I didn't get a decent diagnosis until I was about 19 and able to take things into my own hands. Do you have any other blog recommendations on here? Most I look at haven't posted anything in about a year. By the way, nanowrimo stands for national novel writing month. I had to explain this to a friend the other day, I shouldn't assume everybody knows. You're supposed to write 1000+ words everyday in November and at the end if you have 50,000 words you are A Winner. There is no prize other than a feeling of pride and general wellbeing. To be honest my wits are a bit dulled these days, but if I can gets a decent amount of coherent ideas down and have some discipline I will be happy.
portrait_artist:
Hi @alicerowena, One lifelong lesson that I learned from being hospitalized was to try to appear normal as much as possible which is ironic because I am constantly disturbed by seeing conformism in others and especially in myself. As far as good blogposts I like what @libris writes. It is very down to Earth. The best writers have a serious and almost stern or stern expression on their face. (Don't You hate blanket statements like that?) I've looked at photographs of a lot of writers and seen the faces of local writers. I'll keep my eyes out for other writing that I think is good. There is nothing like Your nanowrimo blog entries. I look forward to seeing how the story develops. Yikes, poor Ray.