alice

and as usual, more jumbled thoughts, in no relation to the others....

saw spun on friday night. some of it made me squirm only because it made me remember what being a tweaker is like. i liked it for the most part, but i think all the hype kind of killed it a little. that and the music. i don't ever recall being spun out of my skull and hearing whiny billy corgan songs in my head. since speed is so far from being calm, i think it would have been more appropriate to choose more chaotic music.
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i got my speeding ticket crap today. $350. i know it's my fault and all, but that's slightly more than i get paid at work in one month. it's just one of those things that hits you when everything, for the most part, has been going so well.
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my brain hurts. i can't quite get out all the words, so i'm wrapping them up in pretty little packages with black wrapping paper and pretty magenta bows. do you ever feel like your brain is studdering? i have a lot to say, but most of the time i don't speak. you just think i'm speaking. this day is empty like so many others. just waiting to catch my breath that i've barely gotten out of my mouth yet.
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thinking about those days i used to draw with my mom. those plays and cheers i used to make up with friends and force our parents to watch. coloring my hair with crayola markers. making candles at the beach. playing dress up. and wondering what happened.